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11/11/11 Mania

11/11/2011 by C.

11/11/11 is tomorrow and there is so much speculation as to what it means or what will happen. There has even been a horror movie made about the date. I have done some research and I am pretty certain nothing will happen tomorrow except you will feel really cool when you write that date down on your paperwork.
Some say that a portal will open up. A portal to where I am not sure. I am hoping it is a portal to Narnia or Smurf Village. How cool would that be?
So many couples will be getting married tomorrow because they feel it will be a lucky date for them. Well, that isn’t true either. If you want some luck at your marriage you need a “2” or “4” in the date according to experts. Or marry a Kardashian, get divorced in 72 days and collect millions. That would be pretty lucky.
This date won’t come up for another one hundred years so we really should do something to celebrate shouldn’t we? I am voting for drinking on the job as a suitable celebration tomorrow. I will be popping open the champagne bottle at exactly 11:11 am on 11/11/11. Maybe Milty (da boss) will join me or maybe he will suggest I get my drink on elsewhere like the unemployment line.
“11” is a special number. Doreen Virtue’s book, “Angel Numbers” states that “11” is a master number. This translates into your thoughts being lined up with the universe and they create your reality. One more time…your thoughts create your reality. Can you imagine what kind of day it will be on Friday? Imagine your child thinking, “Hmmm, I think I will quit school today and live in my parent’s basement forever.”  This, my friends could be dangerous.
So tonight I will light some candles, burn some incense, pop in a Yanni cd and focus on what I want.  All the websites are suggesting that you chant these things, write them down several times or meditate about them. I will write them down now and chant them tomorrow.
Here we go…Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna…OMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM (I think this is how you chant while meditating and since I think it is it is).
Universe, I am open to becoming skinny but being able to eat lots of ice cream and not gain a pound.
Universe, I need to date Adam Lambert. So make a few uh…changes so that he is interested in me.
Universe, I will have nose twitch powers like Samantha on “Bewitched” because cleaning house sucks and I would like to put a spell on Paula Deen to make her think she is my personal chef forever.
Universe, I want to write a book that is so successful I never have to go to an 8-5 job again. Money will never be an issue and the most stress I will have in my life is deciding which pool boy will come fan me while I lay out.
Hopefully the universe will take care of all of that for me tomorrow. But just in case I think I will buy 11 Powerball tickets. It’s always good to have a backup plan. 


  1. Grumpy says:

    I'm ashamed to admit I once went to a Yanni concert. Dragged by an old girlfriend. But Linda Evans was two rows in front of me and I got to look at the back of her neck all night.

  2. C.B. says:

    Well that is pretty freaking cool. Um, I actually own a couple of Yanni cds. For real.

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