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November, 2012

  1. More Random Acts of Kindness

    November 28, 2012 by C.

    Makes you feel good.

     

     

     

    I have another 10 of these done. That leaves 10 more and I am all finished up. As I promised they will be done no later than January 1st.

    1. Sent a card to a friend that was having a bad day.

    2. I bought Halloween treats from a candy store for all of my friend’s kids.

    3. I hid dollar bills around the toy section of the Dollar Store. Inside books and coloring books and under bottles of bubbles and other small toys. Can you imagine the face of a little kid that finds money to buy a toy?

    4. A local restaurant had a pie sale for an employee diagnosed with cancer. I ordered a pie and paid for 2.

    5. Made a monetary donation to a Salvation Army in New Jersey for the Hurricane Sandy victims.

    6. Introduced myself to a neighbor and invited her and her husband to join us in our storm shelter next time the sirens go off. This was extremely difficult as I make a point of not knowing my neighbors. “Like a good neighbor, stay over there” is my attitude.

    7. Some people were set up in front of Walgreens one morning collecting cash for a 7-year-old with brain cancer. I emptied my pockets of the cash I had on me.

    8. Bought items to be shipped by a local trucking company to help out the folks trying to recover from Hurricane Sandy.

    9. While out Black Friday shopping with the masses, I picked up a couple of items for friends that didn’t want to venture out in the madness.

    10. The last one I just signed up for today, so I am not sure exactly what all it entails, but there is a charity for the families displaced by Hurricane Sandy. It is called, “Secret Sandy” and the families write letters asking for certain items that would help them have a better Christmas. From what I read it is mostly for their children. I have a hard time thinking of children not having anything for Christmas so I signed up immediately. Soon, they will send me a letter from my family and I will go to filling their wish list.

    If this is something that would interest you, please visit  http://secretsandy.org/mission

    Although I only have 10 more to finish my mission, I feel this project has changed me and will be something I continue doing the rest of my life. It has opened my eyes and made me examine different ways to make the lives of others better because giving is what it is all about…especially when you have a life as blessed as mine.


  2. Black Friday: A Family Tradition

    November 25, 2012 by C.

    I am wearing this outfit next year.

     

     

    Sorry I have been away for a few days. My favorite holiday of the year was approaching and I had to get prepared. No, not Thanksgiving. My favorite holiday is Black Friday.

    It is a day my sister and I look forward to every year for different reasons. My sister loves it because she can get lots of gifts for her kids at bargain prices. I look forward to it so I can unleash my alter-ego,  “Rammin Chanin”.

    I become a whole different person on Black Friday. If I have to trip someone who is racing for the same set of towels that I am, then so be it. All is fair in love and retail.

    This year was even more insane than usual simply because the stores decided to open on Thanksgiving evening. Usually it is just a few thousand nut cases that would get out at 4 am for some cheap bathmats, but with the extended hours the normal people were out mucking it all up for us pros.

    Our first stop is always Wal-Mart. My sister wanted some 700 thread-count sheets they had on sale for $19.99. We agreed I would stay and fight for sheets and she would go try to get the Mickey Mouse bike for my nephew. When the associate screamed “GO” at the top of his lungs, it quickly got out of hand. The woman between me and the sheets had 6 sets stacked up over her head and she would not move. I lucked out when the woman next to her started passing the sheet sets back to someone behind me. So when I heard her yell, “King” I reached up and grabbed them. She looked pretty shocked and screamed, “we need those.” To which I replied, “then get me a set of king sheets and I will let go.” She nodded and asked what color I wanted.

    “I don’t give a shit, just get me some king sheets!” I yelled back at her. No time to be choosy. My toes had been stomped on and I was growing weak from the kidney punches I was taking from the lunatic 70-year-old woman behind me.

    I ran off with my sheets to find my sister. She was hiding in an aisle with a stack of boxes that would not normally be able to be carried by one human being but on Black Friday you gain superhero strength. We go over our list again and I go back out for a lap around the store to see what else I can get. I overheard a woman offer a man $20 for his cart. He took the money and ran. Others were stuffing their items in garbage cans and laundry baskets. I quickly gathered a few more items on our list and was trying to make my way back to my sister when a woman abandoned a cart right in front of me. God helps me quite a bit on Black Fridays. He knows this is my calling.

    I run over a few hundred toes on my way back to my sister. We piled all our goodies in the cart and she went out to take her turn. We were looking for the $5 cds but could just not find them anywhere. My sister actually hunted down the store manager. He had no idea where they were but told her to get the ones she wanted from electronics and tell the checker to override the price if they rang up as $12. Is she good or what?

    She had just returned to our cart when I see a woman eyeballing those sheets sitting on top of our haul. I gave her the evil eye and yelled, “Oh, don’t even think about it, lady!” She quickly moved on.

    After Wal-Mart we went home to unload and to sleep for a little while (4 hours). Then back up and standing in line at Radio Shack at 5:30 am. We then made stops at Best Buy, Home Depot, two other Wal-Mart locations and Ace Hardware plus various other stores online once we got home that day.

    For all of this time spent shopping here is what I came home with:

    1 37 inch soundbar

    2 movies

    1 cd

    1 video game

    1 pair of house shoes

    3 plastic storage bins

    Total spent $74.

    Did I need any of these things? Gosh, no. But did I have fun competing for these items and the ones I helped my sister get? Absolutely.

    I am already preparing for next year. Just ordered myself a pair of steel-toe boots on Ebay. Game on Wal-mart shoppers!

     


  3. Pinterest Is Life Changing

    November 16, 2012 by C.

    I am constantly encouraging others to get on Pinterest because it is life changing. Instead of asking for more information I usually get nothing but eyes being rolled at me. Well, that is their loss. I am here to tell you it does change your life. You are inspired to start DIY projects, remodel your home and cook up crock pot recipes galore.

    The only way to prove how Pinterest has changed my life is to show you all what I have done since joining Pinterest.

    This was my home. Nothing fancy, but it was home sweet home. It obviously was in need of some work. Just about every time I set foot on the porch a board would break and my leg would fall through. The windows were drafty and I was heading out to Wal-Mart to purchase some tinfoil to cover them when someone told me about Pinterest.

    Love when rain hits that tin roof.

    Now, please keep in mind the changes did not happen overnight. I have been on Pinterest for over two years now and have worked on improving my home this whole time.

    I do good work.

    This is my new living room. I miss the tin roof but it is nice to no longer need a dozen buckets when it rains. Although, I did save lots of money on bath water.

    Let’s move on to the kitchen.

    I make lots of Bagel Bites in here.

    I really don’t spend too much time in here. I had a chef come in occasionally but that didn’t work out. He was always fixing weird shit instead of pizza and hot dogs.

    This is what he fixed for my first meal.That is like half of an appetizer if it was appetizing enough to eat. I think the green juice is what they give you to clean out your rear end pipes if you know what I mean.

    I am not a contestant on Survivor! Bring me some spaghetti!

    Speaking of rear pipes, let’s move on to the master bath.

    I needed a room whiter than my bare behind.

    Most of the rooms in my house are white. Mainly because I don’t trust my house keeper, Rosita. I have caught her lounging around quite a bit watching Telemundo and it is easy to see if she has been cleaning the white rooms instead of plopping down in my recliner neglecting her duties. It is hard to find good help.

    It’s time to move on to my favorite room in the house…my bedroom.

    Meet Ted and Sarah

    Oh, sorry. Those are my neighbors, Ted and Sarah. They pay me $200 one night a week to sleep in my bed and star-gaze. They are super weird if you couldn’t figure it out but hey, $800 a month pays for a bunch of Bagel Bites and Eggo Waffles. For an extra $100 I serve them donuts in bed and massage their feet.

    People ask me where I got all the money to hire help and build such a nice home. They don’t believe Pinterest gave me a bunch of money. The site may not have given me money but the inspiring quotes helped get me moving in the right direction.

    So true and inspiring.

     

    But the real way I made money was by making these…

    Tails up!

    Taxidermied squirrel decanters are apparently hot in Turkmenistan. Those folks must love to drink. Pinterest taught me everything from how to hunt the squirrels, to preparing the body and then turning them into decanters. I can hardly keep up with hunting all the squirrels needed to fill the orders.

    So, that is the story of how Pinterest has changed my life for the better. Hopefully, Pinterest can do the same for you.

    Now get on out there and start Pinning/Winning!

     

     

     

     

     

     

     


  4. My Favorite New App

    November 10, 2012 by C.

    How cute is this???

     

     

    I ran some errands yesterday on my lunch hour and returned to work with about 20 minutes to kill and I had forgotten to bring a book. What to do with myself? Back to work early? Oh hell no.

    Earlier in the week I had read about a new Angry Birds app that is a “Star Wars” version. I downloaded it from the Google store (for free) and started playing.

    I realized after a few minutes I was giggling and doing fist pumps. In the short amount of time I played it, I had so much fun. I am not sure if this is because I have always been a big “Star Wars” fan or just because I am a dork or possibly both, but I really love this app. It even has R2D2!

    Check it out and let me know what you think…”May the force be with you!”

     


  5. Don’t Mess with Anne Frank

    November 8, 2012 by C.

    Yes, she would.

     

     

     

    Phone rings.

    Me: “Hey, Mom. What’s up?

    Mom: “What in the hell is wrong with you?”

    Me: “High blood pressure, anemia, sleep apnea and anxiety issues over a book I am reading. Have you ever heard of a carnivorous island? Is that even possible? What if our soil becomes carnivorous and all that is left of us is our teeth wrapped up in leaves?”

    Long pause.

    Mom: “I am talking about making fun of Anne Frank. It is completely unacceptable. I am embarrassed that you would do such a thing. She is a martyr! I am guessing you have no idea who she is or what she went through. Unbelievable. What do you have to say for yourself?”

    Me: “I don’t recall making fun of Anne Frank and yes I know who she was and what she went through thank you very much. She invented the Frankfurter and I am really grateful because I love hot dogs.”

    Extremely long pause.

    Mom:  “You cannot be that stupid, can you? You made fun of her on Pinterest.”

    Me: “I don’t know what you are talking about.”

    Mom: “It was a picture of Anne Frank that had “WTF” at the top.”

    The photo in question

    Me: “Did you click on the picture and read the whole thing?”

    Mom: “Oh no, I saw enough.”

    Me: “Well, if you had clicked on it you would have seen the rest of the text that read, “you guys read my diary???” You know like any teenage girl would react when she found out a bunch of people had read her diary?”

    Mom: “It is not funny at all. Leave Anne Frank alone. There is nothing funny about the Holocaust.”

    Click.

    I have to sneak on her computer and un-follow me on Pinterest so she doesn’t see what I pin anymore. Besides, looking at all her photos of Thor is kind of disturbing.

    Why did I think it was a great idea to get her a computer???

     


  6. Presidential Race in the Hands of the Redskins

    November 3, 2012 by C.

    Why wait until Tuesday night?

     

     

    Want to know who will win Tuesday’s election a little early? Just tune in for the Redskins vs Panthers on Sunday afternoon. The Redskins are  an amazing predictor of who will win it. They have predicted the winner in 17 of 18 elections. That is 94.4% of the time.

     

    Since 1936, presidential election predictors have looked to the NFL to find out if the incumbent president will keep his job. The myth is that if the Washington Redskins win their last home game before the election, the incumbent party stays in power. If the Redskins lose, the challenging party takes the White House.

    The only time they were wrong was in 2004, when the Redskins lost to the Green Bay Packers, but incumbent President George W. Bush held onto the White House, beating Democratic rival John Kerry the week after the game.

    If I were Romney or Obama, I would have my ass at that game. I would promise the players no taxes for four years, access to the confiscated drug warehouse and unlimited use of Air Force One for a win on Sunday. If they let me down…

    “Son, have you ever heard of Guantanamo Bay?”

    I would be pacing the sidelines the whole game and would totally handle the halftime motivational speech.

    “You have a chance to make this country even greater than it is. You will be a hero. The ladies will love you…so will the men if you are into that. So, let’s get out there and win this one for me!”

    I can’t wait to see the results of Sunday’s game. The current line has Washington as a 3 point favorite over the Panthers. Doing a little research online, in the past 10 years the home team in the NFL  has a winning percentage of .572.

    Obama, you hear that? You might as well take the rest of the week off. You got this.


  7. Hurricane Sandy Relief

    November 3, 2012 by C.

    So sad.

     

     

    My heart breaks for all those affected by Hurricane Sandy. Being from Joplin, MO I know how devastating a storm can be.

    It will take a while for the area to bounce back but I know they will. To help with their efforts, I am sharing a few sites that you can help assist some of the victims financially. Please give what you can afford.

     

    AMERICAN RED CROSS
    The Red Cross is providing shelter, clothes, supplies, food and blood, as needed, for the victims of Sandy. You can donate blood, but in terms of items, you’ll be doing more for those in need by donating money instead of physical goods.

    Text message: Text the word REDCROSS to 90999 to donate $10 to American Red Cross Disaster Relief. As in the case with other donations via mobile, the donation will show up on your wireless bill, or be deducted from your balance if you have a prepaid phone. You need to be 18 or older, or have parental permission, to donate this way. (If you change your mind, text the word STOP to 90999.)

    Phone: 800-RED CROSS (1-800-733-2767); for Spanish speakers, 800-257-7575; for TDD,  800-220-4095.

    To donate blood: Visit this Red Cross Web page.

    Online: American Red Cross

    SALVATION ARMY
    The Salvation Army is providing meals and shelter. “At this point, in-kind donations, such as used clothing and used furniture, are not being accepted for hurricane relief. However, these items are vital to supporting the day-to-day work of your local Salvation Army,” the organization said Tuesday in a press release.

    Text message: Text the word STORM to 80888 to make a $10 donation. To confirm the donation, respond with the word “Yes.”

    Phone: 800-SAL-ARMY (800-725-2769)

    Online: Salvation Army; here’s the organization’s New Jersey site, and its Greater New York site.

     

    HUMANE SOCIETY OF THE UNITED STATES
    Many pet owners were able to take their pets with them, but for those who were not, the Humane Society’s Animal Rescue Team is assembling staff and equipment to help rescue pets in the Mid-Atlantic and Northeast.

    Phone: 301-258-8276

    Online: Humane Society of the United States

    AMERICAN HUMANE ASSOCIATION
    The association is helping animals that may need rescue or shelter.

    Text message: Text the word HUMANE to 80888 to donate $10.

    Phone: 866-242-1877.

    Online: The AHA’s website for donating is here.

    HABITAT FOR HUMANITY
    Habitat, an international organization, helps those in need rebuild their homes after disaster strikes.

    Phone: As of Tuesday morning, Habitat’s online donation system was not available. If you want to make a donation, you can call Habitat’s Partner Service Center at 800-HABITAT (422-4828). Press “0” when prompted and representatives will take your donation information over the phone.

    Online: This is Habitat for Humanity’s main website.

    COMMUNITY FOODBANK OF NEW JERSEY
    This group coordinates efforts with the state’s Office of Emergency Management, as well as with state and local nonprofit organizations.

    Phone: (908) 355- FOOD (3663), ext. 243.

    Online: Community FoodBank of New Jersey

    FEEDING AMERICA
    The organization will deliver food, water and supplies to communities in need through its network of food banks and the agencies they serve.

    Phone: 800-910-5524

    Online: This is Feeding America’s main website.

    CATHOLIC CHARITIES USA
    Catholic Charities provides emergency food, shelter, direct financial assistance, counseling, and support “regardless of religious, social, or economic backgrounds.”

    Online: More information here; main website here.

    Phone: 800-919-9338

    AMERICARES
    This group provides emergency medicine and supplies. Donations are accepted on its accepts donations on its website.

    Phone: 800-486-4357.

    NEW YORK CARES
    This local NYC program is “the city’s largest volunteer organization, running volunteer programs for 1,300 nonprofits, city agencies and public schools.” It is recruiting volunteers to help with Sandy relief efforts, and is also raising money.

    Online: New York Cares; donation page here.

    Phone: 212-228-5000

    You can also approach the city government directly to volunteer, by emailing nycservice@cityhall.nyc.gov with your name, email address and borough.

    DIRECT RELIEF INTERNATIONAL
    The organization provides medicine and supplies to partner health centers and clinics.

    Text message: Text the word RELIEF to 27722 to give $10.

    Phone: 805-964-4767.

    Online: Direct Relief International is the main website; go here to donate online.

     

    Source: http://rockcenter.nbcnews.com/_news/2012/11/01/14861838-hurricane-sandy-how-you-can-help?lite


  8. Stalking Sisters

    November 1, 2012 by C.

    This way to George Clooney!

     

     

     

    I used one of my vacation days to go stalking with my sister. They are filming the movie, “August: Osage County” near where she lives and we thought we would spend the day looking for George Clooney and the gang.

    These AOC signs direct you to where they are filming. You need directions because the set location is in the real BFE.

    After scouting out the situation we decided it would be best to park on the volunteer fire station parking lot. Our spot was between what I call “Trailer Town” (where all the stars have their fancy trailers parked) and the house they are filming in.

    First star spotted was Julia Roberts. They use these large white passenger vans to transport the stars from the trailer to the house when it is time for them to shoot. When they finish, the van picks them up and takes them back to their trailer. You would not believe how many times they run back and forth. We were out there about 6 hours and saw Meryl in her wig, Julia Roberts, Juliette Lewis and Abigail Breslin. We think we saw Chris Cooper but hard to tell the guys apart as they are zooming by. No George.

    After a couple of hours the sheriff pulled up. I was ecstatic. How awesome would it be to get arrested for stalking George Clooney? Well, awesome at least for a blog post or two. After that, not so much.

    Instead of busting us, he walks to the port-a-pot parked next to the fire station. Now, this is just how not threatened he was by us in our Mommy van. He left his car running and unlocked. How insulting. Mini-van moms are bad asses too!

    When he exits, my sister asks why he is going to the bathroom so far from his post. He said,”This is the bathroom they have set up for us to use”. He then tells us they get to eat in the tents with the stars but so far he had only seen George Clooney and Juliette Lewis. I cannot imagine eating anywhere near George Clooney. I would have food dribbled all over my boobs in no time. I swear my boobs eat more than I do.

    He asks what we were doing and we told him just watching the stars drive by and praying they get so bored they might stop. He just laughed. I love a cop that is nice to stalkers. He wished us good luck and took off.

    The closest town was 15 miles away. Luckily they had a Pizza Hut. We called in our lunch and then raced to Kansas to pick it up. We shared our cheesy bread sticks and kicked back just like we were watching a movie and sharing popcorn. It was a beautiful day (except for the smell of cow patties) and we were watching beautiful people make a movie. Or at least be driven to make a movie.

    We were pulling out to leave and I was going to get a photo of trailer town to share with you all. A truck was backing out of that area so we had to sit in the road and wait. They waved us through and just as I was about to take the photo I saw Julia Robert’s body-guard glaring at me. I pull the camera back in and smile and wave. Arms crossed against his  massive chest, muscles flexed and the angriest look on his face…he just kept glaring even after I was all nice and didn’t take a photo. This man was choking me telekinetically. He looked at me like he wanted me dead and quickly.

    Angry protector of Julia Roberts

    I don’t think my sister has seen this so I say, “that man was super angry for some reason and I think he wants me dead.”

    “Oh, well that might be because he knows my car. How did you think I knew he was her bodyguard?” she asked.

    “He knows your car???? I ask.

    “Yea, I was trying to get into those loft apartments Julia and Meryl are living in. Plus, I drive by all the time. He must have recognized my car from standing out there guarding the place,” she said.

    It was then I realized that my sister has become the better stalker of the two of us. Her children regularly ask, “Mom, are we going stalking tonight?”

    It has become a part of her everyday life and I enjoy being a hermit far too much to be near as dedicated as she is. But then I think, if this was going on in my town I would probably quit my job and hunt for George full-time.

    We might both have some serious issues.