This evening I got to the hotel and mother was being snarky so I had to put her in her place.
“I believe I am footing the bill for this hotel room so when I come in after a hard day at work I expect my bed turned down and my slippers waiting by the door.”
“Chanin, you are not footing the bill for this hotel. The company you work for is.”
“Same diff. I didn’t see you whipping out any plastic at check-in so I expect you to get with it and make my stay much more pleasurable for the last week we are here or you will immediately be placed in an old folks home once we arrive back home.”
She just glared at me.
I have injured my back and pretty much get doped up on muscle relaxers once I get in for the evening. I got out my head pad and leaned back against it to watch a few episodes of Downton Abbey.
I had my headphones in and was all involved in the show (Lord Anthony was ditching poor Edith at the alter…what an old bastard!). I see my mom moving pretty quickly for her age out of the corner of my eye. Next thing I know she is on top of me with a tube of something smearing it all over my face. Being half-doped, depressed for poor Edith and in pain, I really had no chance to get out of her death grip.
Through my Downton soundtrack, I hear her say that I am getting older and need to take much better care of my skin (she has been saying this since I was 12). Could these drugs be so good that I am imagining all of this? Who attacks their daughter with a facial mask???
Someone not in their right mind and on their way to the old folks home, that’s who.
To make matters worse she is laughing so hard she starts farting. At this point I am praying the pain in my back gets so bad I will lose consciousness.
When she finally releases me, she says in her snarky voice, “Now snap a picture of that and share it on Facebook with all your friends.”
So I did…well not on Facebook, but on my blog. She really doesn’t know the difference between the two so does it really matter?