RSS Feed

October, 2013

  1. Poppy Seeds Can Kill

    October 29, 2013 by C.

    So funny

    So funny

     

     

    I am not sure if you all have played around with Bitstrips yet but I love it. It is my new favorite app, when it is working. They have been having some issues on Facebook lately due to high demand but if you have a smart phone the mobile app seems to be working ok.

    Bitstrips allows you to make a cartoon version of yourself and then put yourself in cartoons. If your friends are on you can add them to your cartoons. It is just really fun to play with. I highly recommend you get on there asap.

    So if you read my blog a few weeks ago about my friend that seems to have allergy issues if eating poppy seeds you would totally get this cartoon she made and sent me today. If you haven’t read it, read it here.

    I just love the look on my face like…”oh my bad, sorry you have turned purple and can’t breathe.” I seem to find it comical…like maybe she is faking it. Knowing her she is. Thanks for the laugh today, Cindy!


  2. I Am A Sore Idiot

    October 25, 2013 by C.

    My hands are wicked now...

    My hands are wicked now…

     

     

     

     

     

    As some of you know, I am one half of an internet sports radio talk show.  The show is called, “In the Game with Coco and the Canuck”. You can find old shows here if you are interested in listening…

    http://www.blogtalkradio.com/inthegame

     

    I had an idea of trying something new and recording audio for our radio show. I talked the Canuck into doing some training in Krav Maga.

    For those of you that are unsure what that is, let me share a little of the history with you. Krav Maga is a self-defense training started back in the 1930’s by Imi Lichtenfeld. It focuses on real world situations in which you use brutal counter attacks to get out of bad situations. Krav Maga is used mainly by Israeli Defense Forces. They are big on teaching you to avoid confrontation at all costs because basically your hands are lethal weapons and you could kill someone if you wanted to. How freaking cool is that???

    We met with our instructor and got right into learning some great moves to get out of all sorts of situations. Held up at gunpoint? Not a problem. Someone coming at you swinging a bat? Piece of cake. Then we moved to the zombie chase.

    Now, I am all about zombies, so of course I was pretty excited. Then the rules were explained. You stayed in a square area of the workout mat. If you stepped out you were dead. Three people coming at you constantly and you had to physically move them out of your way, while continuously moving around the mat in circles. If you went through the middle, you were zombie dinner. One person also had on a punching bag and when they were in front of you, you punched the bag to get them away from you. I know it doesn’t sound like much but this was the most exercise I have had since I was 7 and playing soccer at the Y.

    This was pretty much non-stop. When you weren’t being chased, you were the chaser. My heart was sending my brain messages like, “Hey, what is going on out there??? If you want to see your next birthday you will stop this nonsense right now!”

    I left class a hobbled and sweaty mess. I was still gulping to get some air into my lungs. I went home and collapsed.

    When I woke up the next day the first thing I noticed was I could not move either one of my thumbs without severe pain. Who has ever heard of thumbs being un-conditioned??? Apparently, I need to do more texting on a regular basis and whip them into shape. I couldn’t lift my arms to my head to shampoo my nasty hair. My knees were hurting from all the kicks I whipped out at my attackers. Basically, I should be in one of those electric motorized wheelchairs that I can control with my teeth because my mouth is only part of my body not in pain.

    The Canuck was awesome at all of this and wants to start paying to take the lessons two nights a week. I cannot even imagine doing this once a year. I have offered to try to get our office to take part in a daily zombie chase so we get in some cardio, but he seems to want more than that for some reason. All of this even after I accidentally whacked him in his privates ( Maybe it was an accident and maybe he should stop talking so much crap about my favorite Steeler player, Troy Polamalu, on our radio show).  Regardless, I think he will have to find a Krav Maga partner in much better shape to join him.

    Almost a week has passed and I am still really sore. I was sitting in my recliner last night wondering to myself, whose bright idea was this? Oh yea, it was mine. I am such an idiot sometimes.


  3. AMEN!

    October 24, 2013 by C.

    Kill them all!!!

    Kill them all!!!

    God, I hate bugs.

     


  4. I Won A Contest!

    October 18, 2013 by C.

    I see you...

    I see you…

     

     

    I belong to the Writers Guild in the town I live in. Last week they had a contest for a scary or fall story for October. When I lived in Colorado I started writing  a book but never came close to finishing it. I searched for the file and spent over a week going over it and fixing things to turn in for the contest.

    I managed to get 2nd place. I cannot describe what a great feeling it is when many in my group are published writers. I have come a long ways. So, I thought I would share the 1st chapter that I turned in for the contest with you all. I would love your feedback. Is this something you think you might want to read? Shall I continue with the story? I feel like there is something here as I have not let this story go in many years, but I cannot look at it like a normal reader. That is where you come in…feel free to let me have it!

    “Between The Cracks”

    Chapter 1

     

    Someone is watching me.  My friends and family all tell me I am being paranoid. They say that living alone for the first time causes jitters for a while until you get accustomed to the new house. But that isn’t it; it isn’t the new house sounds that scare me. I can feel someone watching every move I make.  I can feel eyes crawling all over my skin while I am outside watering the lawn, when I am in the kitchen cooking dinner, and as I haul my trash out to the curb every Monday morning.  Maybe I am a being a little paranoid; this neighborhood does seems safe.

    My house is in a normal suburban neighborhood called Queensland Estates. Someone must have had a thing for Australia because my house sits on the corner of Brisbane and Melbourne Drives.  The houses in this area are typical for Colorado, consisting mostly of bi-level homes with two-car garages and sprinkler systems.  But the real reason I bought this house was for the backyard.  Plush green grass, the largest concrete patio I have ever seen, beautiful landscaping and on the other side of my privacy fence- a public walking trail.  The area of fencing furthest away from the back door of the house has a door cut into it so I can easily get out to the trail for my morning exercise.

    It was a beautiful Saturday morning and I couldn’t wait to get outside to soak up some sun while tending to the yard work.  It was strange not having a man around the house anymore to take care of these things.  Our divorce finalized a month earlier and had left me feeling empty.  The person I had promised my heart to walked out on me to go shack up with a twenty-six-year-old stripper.  When I had envisioned my life, I saw us growing old and raising children together.  In my dreams, “Bambi” had not disrupted our life.  I suppose it is a good thing we had not had kids, but I really would like to have a family one day.

    The thought of starting over scares me to death.  Thoughts of dating were filling my head as I push the lawnmower around the yard.  My sister wants to fix me up with a guy she knows through work.  She says he is sweet, nice looking, and dresses really well.  The guy sounds perfect so that must mean he has a hidden flaw like falls for strippers.

    I needed to take a break from mowing, so I went over to the lounge chair to lie down for a minute.  Well, it seemed like a minute but when I awoke, I realized it had been much longer.  I sat up and looked through the cracks in the fence to the field behind my house.  It seemed like there were many people in my neighborhood that were taking advantage of the walking trail today.  Hopefully when I get everything settled here, I will be able to go for early morning runs. I was so deep in thought; I had not noticed the man looking at me through the privacy fence.

    “Good afternoon,” said the stranger.

    Immediately, I had an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach.

    “Is there something I can help you with?” I asked.

    “I am your neighbor.  I live three doors down; my name is Gavin Bonner.  I’m sorry if I startled you, I was just out walking and noticed the improvements you made to the back yard and wanted to introduce myself,” he replied.

    Gavin looks like a normal suburbanite, but it was really weird how he was standing at the fence watching me.  He’s wearing wrinkled khaki shorts, a heavily worn Dave Matthews Band t-shirt and Adidas running shoes.  His attire fits his story, but why not just ring the doorbell like a non-creepy neighbor?

    “It’s nice to meet you, Gavin.  If you will excuse me, I have an appointment I need to get ready for,” I said.

    “No problem.  I will make sure my wife, Dana and I, come down soon and properly introduce ourselves and welcome you to the neighborhood.  You are going to love it here,” he says as he makes his way back to the walking trail.

    Cold chills raced all over my body as he walked away.  I can’t put my finger on it, but there is something really strange about this guy.

    Looking back, I should have seen all the clues right in front of my face.  I should have known he was going to murder me.


  5. 5 Things About The Movie “Gravity”

    October 13, 2013 by C.

    Go see this movie!

    Go see this movie!

     

     

     

    I actually ventured out of the house last Saturday to go see this one. Maybe these five thoughts will help you determine if you should go see it or not. It seems people are pretty hesitant about it for some reason.

     

    1. It makes you appreciate walking on the Earth so much more. I never ever ever ever want to go up in space thanks to this movie. Not even if Richard Branson offered to send me up for free.

    2. Sandra Bullock was amazing in this. I expect she will get an Academy Award nomination for this role. Far from her normal adorkable self, but she pulls off serious very nicely.

    3.  This movie is beautiful. Space is amazing to look at and the special effects are superb.

    4. You must pay the extra money to see this in 3D or IMAX. Nothing as exciting as getting whacked in the head a few times with flying space debris.

    5. George Clooney basically plays the astronaut version of himself in the movie…charming, handsome and funny. This is really Sandra’s movie and he’s allowed to be in it.

    You simply must see this movie.


  6. Things About Me

    October 4, 2013 by C.

    All about me today.

    All about me today.

     

     

     

     

     

     

    It has been a long week and I am feeling a little lazy. I put this together for all of my stalkers and those who just feel the need to know the real me. I apologize in advance. Well, except to my stalkers who are thrilled beyond belief. You’re welcome.

    1. I hate being outside.
    2. Mainly because of bugs.
    3. One time a bee crawled in my pop can while I was golfing. It stung me inside my upper lip. My lips were huge. Angelina Jolie saw me and the rest is history.
    4. I love any kind of storm.
    5. Rainy days are my favorite…especially if the weather is cooler like in the 50’s.
    6. I was in a rock band in high school. I played guitar, but really wanted to play drums.
    7. I have a set of drums in storage.
    8. I don’t play them because I am scared of all the bugs in the storage unit.
    9. Bugs freak me the hell out.
    10. I love kids in small doses, except for my niece and nephew. I would like a dose of them daily but they live 2 hours away.
    11. I never had kids of my own because I knew it would not be right for a kid to watch football constantly, while eating pizza and cursing at the refs.
    12. Also, I would lock them outside to play all the time. Like even in the winter or overnight with the wild animals in my backyard.
    13. And I am super selfish and love to spend all my money on Pajama Jeans and Oreos.
    14. Plus I HATE eating at McDonald’s. It is so gross. I was told once they use cow eyeballs as meat filler. No thanks. But kids love that shit so no kids for me!
    15. I however LOVE Five Guys Burgers.
    16. They are building one here in town and I am super excited about it.
    17. I don’t drink alcohol. Ever. I know you probably find that hard to believe since most of my posts seem like they might be written by a drunk, but that is not the case. I have allergies to alcohol and I am never sure what will set them off so I just avoid it altogether.
    18. I have been known to sniff quite a bit of glue though.
    19. Not really. My mom just had a heart attack. Sorry Mom!
    20. I have always been determined to be famous. My autograph has been perfected and I am ready for my 1st book signing. Guess I just need to actually write a book.
    21. I have started approximately 204 books but have not gotten past the 1st chapter of any of them.
    22. I suck.
    23. One of my most favorite things in the world is breakfast buffet. Especially in Vegas.
    24. I hate going to Vegas though.
    25. I have two dream vacations…one to Italy so I can eat my weight in pasta and hang with George Clooney at Lake Como. 2nd one is a trip to Los Angeles to do nothing but stalk TV and movies stars for a week.
    26. I collect autographs of celebrities and athletes through the mail.
    27. Out of all of them that have been returned to me signed, the one that truly made me get tears in my eyes was Carol Burnett. I have loved her and her show since I was a child.
    28. I love movies and cannot wait to see “Gravity” on Saturday.
    29. My friends think it looks sad and depressing.
    30. Suck it up buttercups, sometimes life isn’t always perfect.
    31. I am obsessed with Pinterest.
    32. I wish I could find a paid full-time job testing things I find on Pinterest and then writing about them.
    33. I didn’t get my ears pierced until I was 26 years old. Because I hate needles and I was scared to death.
    34. I still hate needles.
    35. I would never make a very good druggie.
    36. I would however be an excellent drug dealer.
    37. I really want to learn how to shoot guns.
    38. I also want to learn how to throw knives like a ninja.
    39. I might be a little weird.
    40. I love each and every person for taking the time out of their day to come to this blog and read the things I write. Thank you so very, very much.