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A Hairy Tale

01/22/2014 by C.

My jacked up foot.

My jacked up foot.





I have a couple of really bad bone spurs in my right foot. After waiting three months to get into my podiatrist, it was finally time to get a shot and relief from some of the pain.

The nurse came in to get my blood pressure and weight, as she was leaving she asked me to remove my shoes and socks. I did so and climbed back into the chair. I sat twiddling my thumbs waiting for the doctor to come in. Looking down at my bare feet I noticed a giant black hair growing out of the middle of my left ankle, hanging down the length of my foot to my toes (ok, it wasn’t that long, but it was really long). I jumped out of the chair and scrambled to get my sock. It would at least cover it up and that foot is not the one that will be looked at by the doctor.

The nurse comes back in because she forgot to ask if I needed a new pair of inserts for my shoes. She immediately notices my sock is back on.

“Hon, you need to have both of your socks off for the exam.”

“Please don’t make me take it off.”

”Sometimes he likes to look at both feet for a comparison…swelling etc. So, we really need it off.”

In a whispery/mortified voice I say, “Look, I missed shaving a hair on my ankle. By the size of it, I have been missing it since I was 20. I will take my sock off, but please find me some scissors or something to cut it off.”

She just cracked up and told me, “We have seen much worse I am sure” and walked out.

Well, I am sure you haven’t seen hair on an ankle so long it could be turned into friendship bracelets for an entire 1st grade class, you witch.

I took my sock back off.

The doctor came in and of course didn’t notice my wild hair because he was too busy injecting my other foot with two giant needles. The nurse smirked at me as they left the room. Not sure if it was because my giant hair went undiscovered or because I was screaming for my mom like a little baby.

I’m not sure how I missed that hair for all this time. Either I need more light in my shower stall or I need to wear my magnified reading glasses in the shower when I shave. Considering the length, maybe both are necessary.


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