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Candy Crush Saga Owns Me

07/19/2013 by C.

Candy Crush Saga was invented by Satan. That is the only way I can explain the unhealthy addiction I have developed with this game.

It all started a few months ago, when several people started sending me Facebook requests for lives. Being the Facebook game snob I was, I would chuckle and think to myself, step away from stupid Facebook games and you might get a life. So confident was I, that I would never be addicted to such a stupid, time-wasting game. Yea, I am an idiot.

The requests multiplied. It piqued my curiosity. What is this game that people cannot stop playing?

What I intended to be a one game peek into the addictive game turned into an entire evening wasted and ended with my advancing to level 25. How could this happen?

A few weeks ago, I was out to lunch with a friend that I only see once a week. She was late so I started up a game while waiting for her to arrive. She kept talking and I kept playing. She finally grabbed the top of my phone trying to take it away from me and I growled at her like a mad dog and told her to stop talking. For some reason, we haven’t had lunch since.

Candy Crush Saga has been compared to Bejeweled and Tetris. I have never played Bejeweled so I really cannot comment on that, but I did get addicted to Tetris in my twenties and would play until my eye-balls bled. At least with Candy Crush you run out of lives, and have to wait 30 minutes before you are given another one (or if you are impatient like me, you can send frantic text messages to friends at 1am begging them to wake the hell up and send you a life).

Each episode requires you to get tickets from friends before you can advance. This is what causes me the most anxiety. I send the requests and can go nowhere until I receive my tickets. If I don’t have them within five minutes I start getting sweaty and pace around the room. After ten minutes, I am screaming, “You bastards have no life-like me! Send me the damn tickets already!!!” It’s not pretty, but this is another example of the kind of person this game will turn you into.

The game has also turned me into a hater of chocolate. In Candy Crush, the chocolate eats up the candies you would combine if you don’t get rid of them fast enough. This makes winning your level darn near impossible. I usually wind up flipping off my computer monitor (or cellphone or tablet) and cursing, “F*%^ you, Chocolate, f*%^ you!!!!!” Of late, just walking down the candy aisle of a convenience store makes me all itchy and I have a desire to start smashing all the chocolate in sight. Take my word, you will soon read a story about a person losing it and smashing up chocolate bars in a store. Hopefully it won’t be me, but at the rate I am going it is hard to say I won’t attempt it.

Some levels are a breeze to get through, but then others like Level 65 took me about a month to finally get past (I am not participating in the date switch cheating thing that people are doing…I want to win the old-fashioned way). Once I got past level 65, I zoomed right up to level 70 and have been stuck there ever since. I feel like I won’t be stuck much longer with my latest purchase…I will be through all 440 levels in no time at all with my lucky socks!


This should do the trick!

This should do the trick!

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