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‘Adam Lambert’ Category

  1. A Few Questions With…Magic 8 Ball

    March 28, 2012 by C.

    There are times when I question myself and the path I am on. I second guess myself constantly, so sometimes it is nice to get a second opinion and my shrink isn’t always around.

    So this week I bought a Magic 8 Ball to help me get some answers to my crazy life. I asked the question, closed my eyes (for dramatic effect) and gave it a good shake. I swear to you that these are the answers that came up for each question.

    Will I be a famous writer?

    Yes-definitely

    Off to a great start my magic friend.

    Will I be rich and successful?

    Yes.

    I love you Magic 8 ball!

    Will Adam Lambert marry me?

    Don’t count on it.

    What??? Are you freaking kidding me??? How does this toy know Adam is way gay and would never marry me?? It MUST be magic.

    Would I survive being a tribute in “The Hunger Games”?

    Without a doubt.

    The 8 ball is picking up on my newly acquired Doomsday Prepping skills and knows I could survive for years in the wilderness with just a toothpick and a roll of duct tape.

    Are Oprah and Gayle lovers?

    As I see it, yes.

    I KNEW IT!

    Should I max out my credit cards?

    Yes.

    God bless you Magic Ball, God bless you!

    Will the world end December 21st, 2012?

    Very doubtful.

    Will Obama be President again?

    Signs point to yes.

    Will Snooki be a good mother?

    Don’t count on it.

    Oh, the Magic 8 ball is so wise. Everyone I know is getting one for Christmas.

    Will Tim Tebow marry me?

    Very doubtful.

    %&;@(^*^*&)*@ stupid *&^;%&%^ Magic Ball!

    Will Brad ever marry Angie?

    Outlook good.

    Glad someone is getting married. Geez.

    Am I super sexy?

    My reply is no.

    God, now I am depressed. Where is my bag of Oreos??????

    Will anyone ever marry me? Like if I am the last female on the planet?? In the galaxy?

    Not a chance in hell loser girl.

    Touche’ 8 ball. You win this round.


  2. She Went To Jared

    March 11, 2012 by C.

    Do I seem like a stalker to you??

    Madaline Desmet, 64, of Des Moines, Washington fell in love with a man she met at a church group in 2010. This sounds like the beginning of a beautiful love story but it isn’t.

    Ms. Desmet started sending the man letters…57 of them in one year… to profess her love. She also called him and sent him e-mails. He told her he was not interested but that wouldn’t stop our senior stalker. She went ahead and started planning a wedding. Ms. Desmet even had a date picked out and reserved for them at a municipal court to exchange their vows. The man found this out after the court called him to discuss a few things about their wedding date.

    There was also a wedding ring involved. The man received a phone call from Jared jewelry store. They wanted him to come in and pay for the ring she had picked out.

    We need to give her some credit…she really goes after who she wants (this was her second time being charged with stalking someone). But most importantly…at least she went to Jared.

    I can really relate to this woman. I have been stalking Adam Lambert for years. I have our wedding all planned out too. I thought I would take a moment to share a few of the photos I have collected with you all.

    I was this close to him once. He said, “Get away from me you freak!!”

    I think what he really meant to say was that he really appreciated the fact that I drove across six states just to be near him. He had to be really tired after performing in all those cities. I know I was really tired after seeing him perform 24 concerts. It really takes a lot out of a person.

    This is the wedding dress I have picked out.

    I have it on layaway and it is almost paid off!

    This is what he will be wearing to our wedding. Isn’t he so handsome???

    My mom says I shouldn’t marry a man that wears more makeup than I do. I find it kind of comforting. We can go shopping together for our makeup and if I run out of something I can just use his. 

    “Adam honey, may I borrow your eyeliner?” I ask.
    “Well of course poopsie, my makeup is your makeup,” he replies. 
    If that isn’t domestic bliss I don’t know what is. 
    This is our wedding cake!

    Isn’t it beautiful? I had to sell one of my kidneys to Rico to pay for it, but it will be worth it once I fully recover from the surgery.

    My ring!

    Screw Jared. I got my ring from Tiffany’s. I am pretty sure Adam will pay me back for it once we are married.

    So I understand and feel for Ms. Desmet. I hope she will get out of jail in time to attend our wedding. I think she would approve.