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‘Diets’ Category

  1. Diets Suck

    June 15, 2014 by C.






    I’ve been on the diet from hell for about a month now. It has been pretty successful in that I have dropped close to twenty-five pounds in that time span. I feel so much better already, it just blows my mind.

    My reasons for starting the diet were many…but the main reason was a vacation I will go on in July with my eleven-year-old niece. I didn’t want to be tired and run down and not be able to do the things she wants to do. I don’t want her to have a crappy vacation because of me.  I just couldn’t live with that.

    Everyone has been very supportive. I have updated my Happy Pills page with my progress every Monday morning. The positive comments I get inspire me and keep me moving forward. It is really important to have positive feedback because I don’t get much of that at home.

    My mother came over one evening to tell me something (I am not sure why she doesn’t call, but whatever).  She asked about my weight loss and I told her all about it…feeling very proud of myself.

    She looked at me and said, “You know what would really help you…a breast reduction. Your back would feel so much better and I bet if you would just drop to a C cup, you would lose 20 pounds.”

    Isn’t that interesting? If you cut off some body parts you can lose weight.

    “Well, while we are at it how about we chop off both my arms…or maybe an arm and a leg. That would make me soooooo much lighter. What a great idea! Why didn’t I think of this sooner?” I replied.

    She stared at me for a few moments and finally responded, “smart ass” and got up from the couch and walked out of my house.

    I don’t care how much my brain weighs; she won’t be getting that removed. I need it in order to deal with her every day.


  2. Getting My Game On!

    August 18, 2013 by C.

    Game on, beyotches!

    Game on, beyotches!





    I had read bits and pieces of this diet book, but recently went back to it and read a little more. Then came the brilliant idea of doing this with my co-workers. I am a horribly competitive person…if there was any diet in the world that would work for me, it would have to be this one.

    After approaching some of them and coming up with a worthy prize for the winning team, we drew names. Team Flabby had four members including myself, versus Team Tubby with their four members. We were to start the following Monday.

    This diet has a bunch of rules. Every meal must have food from an approved list that consist of a carb, a protein and a healthy fat. Green veggies are unlimited. Fruits count as carbs. You must drink three liters of water per day (which we quickly changed to two liters per day so we wouldn’t spend the whole day in the bathroom). An easy one for me is getting seven hours or more of sleep. When you do each of these things you get points. Each person has a score sheet they are in charge of keeping and turning in once a week.

    The first day, Team Tubby fired one of their members because he ordered a pizza for lunch. It was exciting to see everyone taking it so seriously. Since you do an average score of your members, the teams don’t have to be even, so we continued.

    After the first week two more people dropped out. I lost 2.8 lbs the first week and was pretty happy with that. The diet does take some serious meal planning, but it is certainly manageable.

    But here is the best part of all of this…the five of us that are left are helping each other. We have become like one big team rooting for each other. We share recipe ideas and encourage each other to keep filling up our water glasses. It is pretty amazing that as a group after the first week we lost a total of 19 pounds.

    Considering it only takes 21 days to form a new habit and we are in this competition for four weeks, I am hopeful that this will stick and become a way of life for me. I’m not going to lie, I sure do miss sugar. But it is getting easier every single day. Pretty soon, I bet my ice cream cravings will go away. Yea, right.





  3. Fat, Sick and Nearly Arrested

    September 5, 2011 by C.

    A few months ago I watched the documentary, “Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead.” What an eye-opener it was. Basically a man has nothing but vegetable and fruit juice for 60 days. He even carries a juicer in the back of his car so he can juice wherever he is. In 60 days he lost 82 pounds.

    After watching the documentary, I obtained a juicer and some recipes. But then of course the excuses started.

    “You should not start a diet two days before your birthday. Birthday cake is entirely too important to me.”

    “This is going to cost me a fortune.”

    “No way in hell a little cup of juice is going to replace my meals of pizza, Cokes and candy bars. Sounds like starvation!”

    Yesterday I decided no more excuses. No one should feel so crappy at age forty. After a quick trip to the farmer’s market it was time to do some juicing.

    The best part of this whole deal is shoving the vegetables and fruits into the grinder. The noise sounds like an arm being sawed off …pretty sure the neighbors were beginning to think they were living next door to a serial killer.

    “Yes ser officer, she rarely comes outta da house. Not even on da 4th of July ta watch us shoot Bottle Rockets at passin’ cars. She’s really weird. Betcha money shes a choppin’ up a homeless person ova der.”

    Won’t they be shocked the next time I come out of the house looking like a supermodel???

    OK, back to juicing. The recipe is called, “Stomach Filler.” After processing the veggies for this recipe I am thinking it might possibly fill the stomach of a squirrel, but not mine. It is a green color only found in some jars of baby food and Kleenex during a nasty sinus infection. The cup measured approximately 6oz of juice. There is not 6oz of any food that could leave me feeling full. Oh well, bottoms up.

    Well, I have tried to find a delicate way to put this…but there is just not a way. This stuff tasted like ass. Wincing with every swallow, it was finally all gone. This was not the worst part…oh no, the worst part was about 10 minutes later, my breath tastes like ass and makes me want to vomit. The rest of the day was spent burping up cucumbers. Yummy!

    I am not sure how this is possible but…I felt FULL. Really full. Now if I can just find a way to make it stop tasting so nasty this just might work. Adding half a gallon of vanilla ice cream might do the trick.

    Another negative came as I started disassembling the juicer to clean it. Putting furniture together is a walk in the park compared to this. So many pieces and parts and veggie junk stuck all over it. Cleaning this thing is a workout and much more exercise than I have had in a month. There is no way I cannot lose weight doing this!

    You should watch this documentary sometime. It is really amazing how quickly you can see a difference in the people that try juicing for even just 10 days. Besides, I don’t want to be the only person walking around with ass breath.