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‘Downton Abbey’ Category

  1. My Alarm Clock Is No Longer Possessed

    April 7, 2012 by C.

    Take that you devil bastard alarm clock!
    My alarm clock was possessed. Something had to be done.
    It has been going on for months. On the weekends, usually on the days I felt I needed to sleep a little later than normal, the alarm would go off. The clock was not set to go off. I always grab it and stare at the switch asking myself, “Have you been drinking or are you heavily medicated?” The answer is no most mornings. 
    So this morning sleep was really needed because I was up until 3a.m. watching that damn “Downton Abbey” show. Yes friends, I live a wild and crazy ass life. 
    BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!!!!!! On my day off for Jesus’ suffering even! This alarm clock is possessed for sure. Only the devil could do such a thing to me. I slammed my hand down on the snooze button, grabbed it and looked into its taunting face. 
    6:15 a.m. 
    The time I normally get up to get ready for work. Looking closer at the top of the alarm I see it is in the “off” position, just like it was when I checked it last night/this morning before passing out. I get untangled from my sleep apnea mask (I have almost been choked to death three times now by the tubing…and I thought this was supposed to help me breathe??) and directly carry the alarm clock out to the garage. The hammer and I had a good time this morning as you can see in the photo above. It felt SOOOO good. 
    Going back to sleep after being awakened like that is just not an option. Usually I pad into the kitchen, pour myself a bowl of Lucky Charms and drop a couple of blood pressure meds in the milk. Would hate to drop dead because of a possessed alarm clock. 
    Setting my cell phone as an alarm is just not an option. If a stupid alarm clock can become possessed, can you imagine what the devil could do with a smart phone???