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‘mormons’ Category

  1. Best Product Promotion Ever

    May 6, 2012 by C.

    A prize in every box!

    Cindy Davidson of Salt Lake City, UT bought some discount tampons and pulled out a prize from one of the boxes.

    Tightly wound and taped up in the box of Boots brand tampons was some cocaine.

    After spending time trying to get the package open she called her sister to get her opinion.

    “I started getting nervous because I thought it might have been a terrorist attack,” she told KSL-TV. “I called my sister first and said I was going to call the manufacturer the next day and she told me to call the police.”

    Boy, those terrorists are getting smart. Waging a war on the women of America’s vaginas. If TSA starts making women pull out their tampons for inspection, I will either stop traveling or have a sex change.

    Don’t you just know some drug dealer in Vegas is completely pissed off? He is digging through mountains of tampons and can’t find his shit. I bet someone will get beheaded over this one.

    Personally, I think this was a genius way for the Boots company to sell some tampons. I bet after this story ran there was not a box of Boots left in the country. If this woman would have been smart she would have ran right back to that salvage and recovery store (what kind of dipshit buys tampons at a salvage store??) and bought every box they had left. Selling it would have paid for many a Mormon mission trip. At the very least she would have been able to afford to buy her tampons at Wal-mart like the rest of us.

    Tampax corporation needs to pay attention to this. Screw the Pearl! I want some coke with my tampons. Can you imagine how clean my damn house would be? I wouldn’t be near as angry nor would I gain my average five pounds per period, because I wouldn’t be sitting around stuffing boxes of Russell Stover candies, cupcakes and Taco flavored Doritos in my piehole all while watching re-runs of “House Hunters”, screaming at the TV, “You are gonna buy that one because your husband is a cheap-ass bastard!”

    If I could only come across some cannabis in my Midol bottle, this menstruation thing wouldn’t be near as difficult to deal with.