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‘New Years resolutions’ Category

  1. Resolutions Remedy

    January 5, 2013 by C.

    Yea, right.

    Yea, right.




    I don’t think I have ever kept one single New Years resolution I set for myself. Although, I never do what I set out to, I still write down resolutions every single year knowing I will never stick with it. Well those days are over brothers and sisters! Can I hear an Amen?

    I have a few resolutions for 2013 but they are  ones I can actually fulfill and not hate myself so much. Why do we torture ourselves year in and year out with this stuff?

    I thought I would share a few of my doable resolutions with you and encourage you to create and share your own with me.

    1. I will eat at least 4 bags of Oreos this year.

    2. I will gain no less than 3 lbs and no more than 25 lbs this year.

    3. I will workout by twirling around more in my office chair. I can only imagine the amount of calories that will burn.

    4. I will bathe every single day even if I would prefer to lay on my Coke splattered sofa in my big butt pajamas eating Doritos and cursing out Thomas from Downton Abbey (he is just evil).

    5. I will not recycle.

    6. I will write at least 2 blog posts a week, but no more than 5 because you all would get sick of me if you aren’t already.

    7.  I will eat a fruit OR a vegetable a day.

    8. I will spend less than 12 hours on the internet per day (Damn you, Pinterest!)

    That should do it. I feel confident I can handle making all of these happen and I will not hate myself four months from now.

    I am just about to the 12 hour mark of being on the internet today so I must shut down now. These resolutions might be more difficult than I thought.


  2. A Few Resolutions for 2012

    January 1, 2012 by C.

    Another year has come and gone. Tonight we ring in 2012 with dancing, drinking and parties or if you are like me laying in your mismatched pjs, watching “The Notebook” and eating Oreos non-stop. To each their own right?
    I usually try to make a few resolutions each year. I can’t remember the last one I actually kept but a person has to set some goals or they will just stay flopped on their couch in their pjs, watching “The Notebook” and eating Oreos non-stop. Wait a minute…
    So here they are…my 2012 resolutions.
    I will get through another year without dumbing down to watch “The Jersey Shore,”  “Keeping Up With the Kardashians,” and “Teen Mom.”
    I resolve to never again take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
    I resolve to not having my Christmas shopping done early this year because there is just no point of gift giving if the world is going to end on December 21st.
    I will be paid for something I write at least once this year even if only $1.00.
    I resolve to take up a new habit: Nose picking perhaps.
    I will make an attempt to go green this year. I will conserve water by wearing all my clothes twice before washing, taking a shower once a week and only flushing the #2 deposits.
    This year my name will not be published in the paper after getting a speeding ticket. If my name appears in the paper this year it will be for something cool like shoplifting “Twilight” shit from Wal-mart.
    I resolve to win the Powerball and run away to an island similar to Gilligan’s but with electricity, a personal chef and internet access.
    I resolve to watch “Gone With the Wind” for the 1sttime so everyone will stop freaking out that I have never seen it.
    This year I will have 100 followers of my blog even if I have to start making up fake e-mail accounts to do it.
    I resolve to write/read more and watch less TV. 
    I will score a 200-point word playing “Words with Friends.”
    I wish all of you a Happy New Year! Stay safe out there!