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  1. Coddled Kids and Winner Bridges

    May 20, 2013 by C.

    Thank goodness for snack breaks!

    Thank goodness for snack breaks!

     

     

     

     

    I miss the good old days when parents spanked their kids. Not in an abusive sort of way, but in a way that the kids knew who was boss and what would happen if they mis-behaved in any way, shape, or form ever again.

    When did we go from that era to this new era of coddling kids? I can tell you right now, I am glad I grew up when I did and had my rear end blistered a few times. You learned from your mistakes and in a way it made you better person. I am really scared for the future of this country, because it has all been handed to these kids and they are praised for doing simple things children should be doing anyways.

    We have kids participating in sports where no score is kept, you keep swinging until you get a hit and you have snacks at halftime. Back in the day, I would run so hard for so long, just playing after school, that I would lose my lunch in the neighbor’s rose bushes, wipe my chin and keep on running until it was so dark I couldn’t see. If a kid yaks these days, they have contracted a new virus (the dreaded house cat virus that has you hacking up hairballs for weeks) and will miss a week of school.

    Friends, there are winners and losers in life. That is just the way it is. Would you rather they find this out playing t-ball or after they have lost a job because of a confrontation with their boss over a difference of opinion? If you don’t want your child living with you until retirement, I suggest keeping score.

    It is difficult for me to attend my niece’s games. I typically yell at her or the other children the entire game. Most of these kids don’t even understand the rules of the game being played. The ball gets kicked out-of-bounds in soccer and they are looking around at each other like, “Uh oh. What do we do now? Is it almost half-time? I am a little dry and a banana sure does sound good.”

    After the game they make “Winner” bridges for their opponents to run through. I cannot even imagine. At the end of my games, we would line up and pass each other single file, touch hands and just say, “Good game”. I might have been a little high-strung because I was looking out for the player that rode my ass the whole game and when I got to them I would give him the evil eye and pull my hand back. I have always been a bit too competitive.

    You see, I was raised by parents that didn’t coddle me. I learned how to play catch with my father out in the backyard when I was 5. It went like this…

    Dad: I am going to throw this baseball at your head as hard as I can (a real baseball). You can either catch it, knock it down or get hit in the head.

    Me: What????

    Conk.

    I never missed the ball again.

    This could also explain a few other things about me for instance; I have difficulties remembering most of 1st grade and all of my birthdays.

    Can someone build a “Winner” bridge for me to run under so I feel better about this??

     


  2. Say My Name

    October 17, 2012 by C.

    Yea, thanks Mom & Dad

     

     

    I was given a really unusual name. At first glance, people say, “What is so unusual about Shannon?” My name is Chanin. It is not Shannon. I am called Shannon 90% of the time. Men especially seem to have a hard time with this. I think it’s because as women we are a little more sensitive about these things and want to make sure we are getting it right. Men just don’t give a shit if they pronounce your name correctly.

    So, let’s go over it. If you want to pronounce my name correctly, follow along.

    Let’s break it down. Chan—as in Jackie “Chan” + “in”= Chanin. Not so hard really.

    It is exhausting correcting people on how to pronounce my name correctly so I have just given up. I cannot tell you how many times checkers in stores will look at my debit card and say, “Wow, what a neat way to spell Shannon.”

    I quickly mutter, “Thanks” and walk away. If I were to correct every person that gets it wrong, I would literally waste away 85% of my life this way and I just don’t want to. After 41 years with this name, I am tired.

    When I was in 7th grade, a teacher read my name out loud to the class as this… “Charmin??”

    Holy shit balls did she just call me Charmin???

    “Charmin Bissinger??”    *Bissinger is pronounced like Kissinger. For some reason I get called Basinger and tell people, “why yes, I am Kim’s much younger and uglier sister.” *

    She did. It took quite a while to live that one down. My feelings will not be hurt if I never hear, “Don’t  squeeze the Charmin” ever again.

    Every so often I am asked where my parents came up with my name. I was named after an actress named Chanin Hale. She was acting in a TV series and my mom came across her name in the TV Guide.

    I am pretty. Name your daughter after me and she might get to be in Bonanza too!

     

    It is so much easier to tell people my parents were on drugs and came up with it one night while sharing the crack pipe (as my Mom is reading this she is hyperventilating and screaming,  “I never did a drug in my life young lady!”).

    I asked Mom once what were the other names they had been considering.

    “Laurel,” she said.

    “Like Laurel and Hardy?” I asked.

    “Yes, but it can be a girl’s name too,” she replied.

    “If you say so,” I said.

    Well, I guess it is at least good to know I was screwed either way.

     

     

     

     

     


  3. Parents Think Fairy Tales Are Too Scary for Children

    March 6, 2012 by C.

    A British television station, Watch, conducted a study recently and found that many parents think that good old fashion fairy tales are just too scary/disturbing for their children. 
    If this doesn’t prove the world has gone nuts, I don’t know what would.
    Let me share just a few of the stories along with the reasons they don’t think they should be exposed to children.

    1. Hansel and Gretel – Details two kids abandoned in the forest and likely to scare young children

    2. Jack and the Beanstalk – Deemed too ‘unrealistic’.

    3. Gingerbread Man – Would be uncomfortable explaining gingerbread man gets eaten by a fox

    4. Little Red Riding Hood – Deemed unsuitable by parents who have to explain a young girl’s grandmother has been eaten by a wolf.

    5. Snow White and the Seven Dwarves – the term dwarves was found to be inappropriate

    6. Cinderella – Story about a young girl doing all the housework was outdated.

    7.Rapunzel – Parents were worried about the focus on a young girl being kidnapped.

    8.Rumplestiltskin – Wouldn’t be happy reading about executions and kidnapping

    9.Goldilocks and the Three Bears – Sends the wrong messages about stealing

    10.Queen Bee – Inappropriate as the story has a character called Simpleton ENDS

    I am not sure which one irritates me the most. Somewhere these folks have forgotten that these are made up stories that are read for entertainment, not the police report for a brutal crime. Could these stories be any worse than what they are watching on TV or something they see in a video game?
    The future generations are going to be a bunch of wussies. They will live with their parents forever, never get a job and be terrified of doing anything because they have been over-protected by their parents. It is like everything has to be happy-happy all the time and that is not how life works. Protecting children to the point of never letting them be un-happy or seeing how sometimes things in life are sad, will do nothing but handicap them in the future.
    After reading this article, I took a moment to reflect on my childhood. I was read all these stories and I am somewhat normal now. Of all the things that my parents did that might have been too scary was taking me to see “King Kong” at age 5. I think my father wanted to go see the movie and knew my mom wouldn’t go so that left me as his movie date.
    Now, this movie came out in 1976 so the special effects weren’t like they are now, but it was pretty gruesome in parts. Kong battled with a giant snake and finally broke the snake in half.
    Well, I soiled myself. Seriously. About 10 minutes go by and my father leaned down and asked, “Did you toot?”
    I shook my head no. I wished I had tooted.
    So he is glaring at the people around us, giving them dirty looks for letting one rip in a movie theater. I could not stop thinking, “He is going to kill me. He is going to be so mad and I will be grounded and sent to my room without dinner for the rest of my life.”
    I slowly started stuffing the popcorn into my coat pockets. I wasn’t too fond of missing meals even at a young age.
    The movie ended and I was scared to move. My dad looks at me and says, “Let’s go.” I motion for him to lean down so I could whisper to him, “I had an accident, Dad.”
    His face turned a purple/red/pink color all at once. We waited for everyone to leave the theater and then he covered me up in his coat. We did not speak the whole way home.
    He had to explain this to my mother who was not very happy about his film choice or the fact that I needed to be cleaned up. When we were in the bathroom alone she asked what had happened. I blurted out, “ There was this big snake and it was trying to kill King Kong and he picked it up and just broke it and it was so scary I had an accident.” Her eyeballs were popping out of her head.
    As if things could not get any worse, I had nightmares for 2 weeks. My dad paid for that trip to the movies for a long time.
    Things were different back then. It’s not that our parents didn’t care about us or were negligent…they just gave us space to grow and experience life. I know I appreciate being raised that way and really hope that these parents re-consider banning fairy tales from their children.