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‘Reality TV’ Category

  1. No TLC For Me

    October 23, 2012 by C.

     

    I shared last month that a representative from TLC approached me for being on a show about weird eating habits (my ketchup addiction). Everyone has been asking for an update on this. The update is they have not called.

    Am I upset by this? No. My response to the e-mail could be why they have not called. I located it in my sent items and thought I would share it. She has not called nor sent me the recipe I requested. Geez.

     

    Chanin Bissinger 1happypill@gmail.com

    Sep 26

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    Description: https://mail.google.com/mail/images/cleardot.gif

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    to R

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    R,

    While I think it is cool you have somehow found my blog post about my love of ketchup, I feel I am not the person to be on your show. I am a big fan of the addiction shows you have on your channel and I have seen the majority of the episodes. I do not feel my love of ketchup has any comparison to a man who has a sexual relationship with his car. Nor does it compare to a person that chews on glass, foam or toilet paper.  I mean, really??

    I suppose I could make it pretty freaky for the almighty dollar (baths in ketchup, a baby bottle full of ketchup I carry around with me so I can get a quick fix or sleeping with the bottles) but I cannot be bought (unless you are talking Honey Boo Boo money). If you ever need a writer for your shows, please give me a call.

    If you still want to discuss this, work would probably be the easiest way to reach me…I am here Monday-Friday 8am-5pm central time. 417-xxx-xxxx.

    Thanks!

    Chanin

    P.S. Could you e-mail me Mama June’s ketchup sketti recipe? That shit sounds good!


  2. Ketchup and Honey Boo Boo

    September 28, 2012 by C.

    Watch out Honey Boo Boo!

     

     

     

    This week I checked the email account for this blog and found I was sent a request a week earlier to speak to a casting agent from TLC. She had read my blog post about my ketchup addiction and would like to speak to me about the possibility of appearing on a show about weird food addictions.

    My first thought was it was some sort of joke. So I did a little research on the company she said she was with and sure enough…it is a casting agency that does most of the shows on TLC.

    I emailed her back and told her I felt certain that I was not addicted enough to qualify to be on “My Strange Addiction” but to feel free to call me and discuss.

    At first I just laughed about this. Pretty comical. I write every single day of the week after working a full-time job and instead of my writing being noticed, I get an email about being on a show for freaks. So now, I am a bit depressed about it. I have decided there is no way I will do the show if they offer it to me, unless of course they are willing to pay me a substantial amount of money. That is highly doubtful though, as Honey Boo Boo only gets $4000 per episode. I need at least $10,000 to make an ass of myself on television.

    The positive that has come from this is it made me realize that anyone could be reading what I write…an editor at a magazine or publishing company, comedy websites or even someone from Saturday Night Live looking for a new writer. It was a nice reminder that more people read this than just my Mom. So I have hope again.

    I will update everyone again if I get a call back any time soon. I could be the next Honey Boo Boo y’all!


  3. Let Your Freak Fly

    February 11, 2012 by C.

    Can you say fruitcake???

    Most days I mentally abuse myself about my position in life at age 40.

    “Don’t make enough money.”

    “Going nowhere fast.”

    “Don’t own a house like normal people my age.”

    “I drive a Kia.”

    “No kids for me. At this age, my eggs must be like dried up raisins.”

    Blah blah blah. You get the picture. For the next few months, I will get a break from all that. Why?? Well, because the best show ever is starting a new season and watching these people makes me feel like I have my shit more together than Gwyneth Paltrow.

    *Gwynnie, if you are reading this…I simply ADORE you. I started putting my eye cream in the fridge just like you said to do in your blog. I still have nasty bags under my eyes, but it gives me the chance to eat a couple of chocolate eclairs while I am in there digging for that jar of eye cream. Call me!*

    “My Strange Addiction” starts this Sunday, on TLC at 9pm central. This season is going to be a doozie. The very first episode will feature Nathaniel. My boy Nate loves taking his car out for dates and um…well he…oh boy…he gets busy with his car and I don’t mean a running errands kind of busy. 27-years-old and has been dating “Chase” for 5 years now.

    Nathan, you are a freaky man. I am 10 steps closer to Gwynnie level.

    On the same episode, we will meet a woman addicted to snorting baby powder and has been doing so for 10 years (I bet she smells really good though). I am feeling so damn good about myself right now.

    Also this season you will get to see a woman addicted to eating cat food. She will have several cans of the wet stuff and about 900 cat treats a day. Most people (especially me) really fear having to eat cat food one day when our retirement runs out, so I am hoping to learn how to embrace a “Friskies” fix. Probably not as good as “Fancy Feast” but I won’t be able to afford that shit.

    A moth ball sniffer, a woman addicted to her size 38KKK boobies, even while they are causing her health issues, a woman that eats tape, another woman that drinks 5 bottles of nail polish a day (I bet her insides are so pretty and she pees rainbow colors).

    So, please join me in watching the freak fest on Sunday night. Everyone needs to be reminded of just how normal they are occasionally.