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‘stalking’ Category

  1. Stalking Sisters

    November 1, 2012 by C.

    This way to George Clooney!




    I used one of my vacation days to go stalking with my sister. They are filming the movie, “August: Osage County” near where she lives and we thought we would spend the day looking for George Clooney and the gang.

    These AOC signs direct you to where they are filming. You need directions because the set location is in the real BFE.

    After scouting out the situation we decided it would be best to park on the volunteer fire station parking lot. Our spot was between what I call “Trailer Town” (where all the stars have their fancy trailers parked) and the house they are filming in.

    First star spotted was Julia Roberts. They use these large white passenger vans to transport the stars from the trailer to the house when it is time for them to shoot. When they finish, the van picks them up and takes them back to their trailer. You would not believe how many times they run back and forth. We were out there about 6 hours and saw Meryl in her wig, Julia Roberts, Juliette Lewis and Abigail Breslin. We think we saw Chris Cooper but hard to tell the guys apart as they are zooming by. No George.

    After a couple of hours the sheriff pulled up. I was ecstatic. How awesome would it be to get arrested for stalking George Clooney? Well, awesome at least for a blog post or two. After that, not so much.

    Instead of busting us, he walks to the port-a-pot parked next to the fire station. Now, this is just how not threatened he was by us in our Mommy van. He left his car running and unlocked. How insulting. Mini-van moms are bad asses too!

    When he exits, my sister asks why he is going to the bathroom so far from his post. He said,”This is the bathroom they have set up for us to use”. He then tells us they get to eat in the tents with the stars but so far he had only seen George Clooney and Juliette Lewis. I cannot imagine eating anywhere near George Clooney. I would have food dribbled all over my boobs in no time. I swear my boobs eat more than I do.

    He asks what we were doing and we told him just watching the stars drive by and praying they get so bored they might stop. He just laughed. I love a cop that is nice to stalkers. He wished us good luck and took off.

    The closest town was 15 miles away. Luckily they had a Pizza Hut. We called in our lunch and then raced to Kansas to pick it up. We shared our cheesy bread sticks and kicked back just like we were watching a movie and sharing popcorn. It was a beautiful day (except for the smell of cow patties) and we were watching beautiful people make a movie. Or at least be driven to make a movie.

    We were pulling out to leave and I was going to get a photo of trailer town to share with you all. A truck was backing out of that area so we had to sit in the road and wait. They waved us through and just as I was about to take the photo I saw Julia Robert’s body-guard glaring at me. I pull the camera back in and smile and wave. Arms crossed against his  massive chest, muscles flexed and the angriest look on his face…he just kept glaring even after I was all nice and didn’t take a photo. This man was choking me telekinetically. He looked at me like he wanted me dead and quickly.

    Angry protector of Julia Roberts

    I don’t think my sister has seen this so I say, “that man was super angry for some reason and I think he wants me dead.”

    “Oh, well that might be because he knows my car. How did you think I knew he was her bodyguard?” she asked.

    “He knows your car???? I ask.

    “Yea, I was trying to get into those loft apartments Julia and Meryl are living in. Plus, I drive by all the time. He must have recognized my car from standing out there guarding the place,” she said.

    It was then I realized that my sister has become the better stalker of the two of us. Her children regularly ask, “Mom, are we going stalking tonight?”

    It has become a part of her everyday life and I enjoy being a hermit far too much to be near as dedicated as she is. But then I think, if this was going on in my town I would probably quit my job and hunt for George full-time.

    We might both have some serious issues.


  2. To Catch a Clooney

    October 9, 2012 by C.

    George, honey…I’m home!





    I have long been obsessed with celebrity. The reasons are still unknown to me. Actors, singers, bands, writers…if I appreciate their work I want to meet them. Yes, I know they are just people like you and me but they are living the life. Doing what they love and getting paid handsomely to do so. Signing autographs, posing for pictures and special treatment wherever they go. Sounds pretty cool to me.

    So my sister told me a movie would be filmed in the town she lives in. I immediately began to research the movie, actors and when filming would begin.

    Turns out the movie is “August: Osage County”, the play written by Tracy Letts that was a Broadway sensation. George Clooney is producing the movie and he has signed up a dream team of actors…the best actress in the history of film (just my opinion) Meryl Streep, Julia Roberts, Ewan McGregor, Sam Shepard, Chris Cooper, Benedict Cumberbatch, Juliette Lewis, Abigail Breslin and Margo Martindale (thought she was great in “Secretariat”).

    Now, let me be perfectly honest, if I met Meryl Streep I would probably turn into some blubbering idiot. When I think of her performance in “Sophie’s Choice” I still get all weepy and I know I will embarrass myself and frighten her, so I am hoping sincerely not to meet her. Plus, you know how you idolize someone so much and you meet them and they turn out to be the worst person ever and you are forever disappointed? I don’t want to take that risk.

    Filming started the last week of September and will continue for eight weeks. The weekend before the movie was to start filming my friend Cindy and I drove over to stalk with my sister. We loaded up in my sister’s mini-van along with her two children (really never too young of an age to start teaching stalking skills).

    We made trips to the airport (thinking the stars would fly in on their private jets). No luck. My sister drove us to a house that George was supposedly living in. We must have sat there and watched the house for 2 hours or more. Nada.

    The most exciting part of the trip was a drive out to the farm-house where 80% of the film will take place. The house sits about a half mile off the main road. There were giant barriers blocking the driveway. Do we let some barricades stop us? Oh, no.

    We got about half way down this dirt road and I see the security guard’s truck. I tell my sister to turn the car around and head back out to the road. No need to go to jail when it was clear no one was there filming. If there had been a chance Julia Roberts could watch me get arrested then it might have been worth it.

    “Nope, we are going down right in front of the house and taking pictures,” she said.

    We continued to try to scream some sense into her head. She was just too determined.

    As the van was swinging around in a u-turn in front of the house, I see the security guard stand up. This is it. This man is  sending us off to the clinker and the two children off to protective services.

    The security guard just smiled and waved. I rolled the window down, snapped the picture and told her to drive. She still objected. Wanted to get out of the car. I don’t know if she was wanting to roll around on her back in the grass George might have stepped on or what, but it was time to go. Live to stalk another day is my motto.

    Cindy and I will return for more stalking later this month. They seem to be filming mainly Monday through Friday so we are actually taking a day of vacation to go chase George and the gang.

    If we catch a Clooney I am not certain what we will do with him, but no worries, we will figure something out.




  3. She Went To Jared

    March 11, 2012 by C.

    Do I seem like a stalker to you??

    Madaline Desmet, 64, of Des Moines, Washington fell in love with a man she met at a church group in 2010. This sounds like the beginning of a beautiful love story but it isn’t.

    Ms. Desmet started sending the man letters…57 of them in one year… to profess her love. She also called him and sent him e-mails. He told her he was not interested but that wouldn’t stop our senior stalker. She went ahead and started planning a wedding. Ms. Desmet even had a date picked out and reserved for them at a municipal court to exchange their vows. The man found this out after the court called him to discuss a few things about their wedding date.

    There was also a wedding ring involved. The man received a phone call from Jared jewelry store. They wanted him to come in and pay for the ring she had picked out.

    We need to give her some credit…she really goes after who she wants (this was her second time being charged with stalking someone). But most importantly…at least she went to Jared.

    I can really relate to this woman. I have been stalking Adam Lambert for years. I have our wedding all planned out too. I thought I would take a moment to share a few of the photos I have collected with you all.

    I was this close to him once. He said, “Get away from me you freak!!”

    I think what he really meant to say was that he really appreciated the fact that I drove across six states just to be near him. He had to be really tired after performing in all those cities. I know I was really tired after seeing him perform 24 concerts. It really takes a lot out of a person.

    This is the wedding dress I have picked out.

    I have it on layaway and it is almost paid off!

    This is what he will be wearing to our wedding. Isn’t he so handsome???

    My mom says I shouldn’t marry a man that wears more makeup than I do. I find it kind of comforting. We can go shopping together for our makeup and if I run out of something I can just use his. 

    “Adam honey, may I borrow your eyeliner?” I ask.
    “Well of course poopsie, my makeup is your makeup,” he replies. 
    If that isn’t domestic bliss I don’t know what is. 
    This is our wedding cake!

    Isn’t it beautiful? I had to sell one of my kidneys to Rico to pay for it, but it will be worth it once I fully recover from the surgery.

    My ring!

    Screw Jared. I got my ring from Tiffany’s. I am pretty sure Adam will pay me back for it once we are married.

    So I understand and feel for Ms. Desmet. I hope she will get out of jail in time to attend our wedding. I think she would approve.