March 28, 2012 by C.
There are times when I question myself and the path I am on. I second guess myself constantly, so sometimes it is nice to get a second opinion and my shrink isn’t always around.
So this week I bought a Magic 8 Ball to help me get some answers to my crazy life. I asked the question, closed my eyes (for dramatic effect) and gave it a good shake. I swear to you that these are the answers that came up for each question.
Will I be a famous writer?
Off to a great start my magic friend.
Will I be rich and successful?
I love you Magic 8 ball!
Will Adam Lambert marry me?
Don’t count on it.
What??? Are you freaking kidding me??? How does this toy know Adam is way gay and would never marry me?? It MUST be magic.
Would I survive being a tribute in “The Hunger Games”?
Without a doubt.
The 8 ball is picking up on my newly acquired Doomsday Prepping skills and knows I could survive for years in the wilderness with just a toothpick and a roll of duct tape.
Are Oprah and Gayle lovers?
As I see it, yes.
I KNEW IT!
Should I max out my credit cards?
God bless you Magic Ball, God bless you!
Will the world end December 21st, 2012?
Will Obama be President again?
Signs point to yes.
Will Snooki be a good mother?
Don’t count on it.
Oh, the Magic 8 ball is so wise. Everyone I know is getting one for Christmas.
Will Tim Tebow marry me?
%&;@(^*^*&)*@ stupid *&^;%&%^ Magic Ball!
Will Brad ever marry Angie?
Glad someone is getting married. Geez.
Am I super sexy?
My reply is no.
God, now I am depressed. Where is my bag of Oreos??????
Will anyone ever marry me? Like if I am the last female on the planet?? In the galaxy?
Not a chance in hell loser girl.
Touche’ 8 ball. You win this round.
Category Adam Lambert, Magic 8 Ball, marriage, oprah, Snooki, Tim Tebow | Tags: | Comments Off on A Few Questions With…Magic 8 Ball
February 14, 2012 by C.
1. Send yourself flowers. Face it, you have the money because you obviously don’t spend money on makeup or hot clothes to get a boyfriend of your own. When the flowers arrive, loudly read the card, “Missing you so much…Love Tim Tebow”. Watch all the chicks in your office spaz out.
2. Call the most popular restaurant in town and make about 20 different reservations for the same time. Look in the phone book for random call back names and numbers to give them. It will really screw up the Valentines dinner of a bunch of hungry people.
3. Park and watch for happy couples going to the movies on Valentines. Then get out and shoot arrows in their tires with Cupid’s crossbow. That will teach them.
4. Just get drunk. This solves about 90% of all problems.
5. Go into work early on 2/15. Take all the flower arrangements off the bitch’s desks that are lucky enough to have actual boyfriends/husbands to send them flowers and toss them in the dumpster. Claim that they set off your allergies and had to go.
6. Steal all the cute Valentines candy they put on their desks and blame the janitor.
7. Put a basket of pregnancy tests in the ladies room at work. Just a gentle reminder that diddlin’ on Valentine’s Day can cause you to have children and none of them will be near as cute as Blue Ivy Carter.
|Thank God I look like my Mom!
See, being single isn’t all that bad on Valentine’s Day. At least you won’t have to deal with a boyfriend giving you a gym membership,a hair removal system or lingerie. Men really are clueless sometimes.
Category love sucks, single living, Tim Tebow, Valentine's Day | Tags: | Comments Off on Tips To Make Being Single on Valentines Day Fun
December 7, 2011 by C.
I have become obsessed with Tim Tebow. My love for Tebow is not just because he is a great football player though. It is more because he is a great person. And it doesn’t hurt he is freaking hot.
Lately I have purchased Tebow t-shirts, jerseys and posters. I cannot get enough Tebow. Just this weekend I was “Tebowing” at the movie theater because the kid put just the right amount of butter on my popcorn. Hey, you have to thank God for that…nothing worse than not having enough butter on your popcorn. It just isn’t good unless you have to immediately leave the theater after your movie to have your arteries scrapped.
You get the picture. I have a Tebow problem. The more I learn about him the more obsessed I become. So, I thought I would share a few Tebow facts with you all.
- Tim Tebow was born in the Philippines. His parents were working as missionaries. His mother had a life-threatening infection and doctors advised her to abort the baby in order to save her life. She refused.
- Tebow and his brothers and sisters were home-schooled by their Mom. Tim did not think the offense at the high school closest to their farm was right for him so Tim and his mom moved away from their farm and into an apartment to make Tim eligible to play for another high school more suitable to his talents.
- Tebow was the first underclassman to win the Heisman Trophy.
- In the 2009 BCS Championship game, Tebow put John 3:16 on his eye paint for the game. 92 million people searched for that Bible verse during and shortly after the game.
- Tim co-wrote a book about his life growing up in the Philippines and then Jacksonville, Florida along with college football stories mixed in. The day after release it was already at #22 on Amazon.com bestsellers list.
- “Tebowing” has become a national phenomenon. Tebow received a tweet from a kid with cancer that was “Tebowing while chemoing” and Tim shared it on his Twitter page with a response of “How cool is that?”
- Tebow has been criticized about his style of play and his continuous expression of his Christian faith by just about everyone in the football world but when he responds he has nothing but kind words to say. After Jake Plummer ripped him for his public displays Tebow said, “I respect Jake’s opinion, and I really appreciate his compliment of calling me a winner,” he added. “But I feel like anytime I get the opportunity to give the Lord some praise, he is due for it.”
- He cannot put Bible verses on his eye paint anymore due to a rule the NFL has, so he tweets a verse right before the game.
- Tebow has started his “W15H” foundation that grants kids struggling with life-threatening illnesses an opportunity to meet him and hang out.
- Oh and he is building a hospital in the Philippines. Here is some info about it from his website.
The Tebow CURE Hospital in Davao City will be a 30-bed surgical facility focusing primarily on orthopedics. The groundbreaking will be held in January 2012 and the hospital is expected to open in mid-2013.
The construction project is expected to cost $3 million, with donors from CURE and the Tebow Foundation sharing the costs. About one-third of the children treated at the hospital are expected to be charity cases.
The hospital will house a Timmy’s Playroom, which will provide faith, hope and love to children before and after their surgeries. It will be the Tim Tebow Foundation’s first international playroom.
I personally find it refreshing to see an athlete like this. He doesn’t have tats from head to toe; he doesn’t seem to be playing for the money…he just loves football. Tebow gives back, he seems humble and grateful for the life he has. He hasn’t been in trouble for drug abuse, drunk driving or a crazy night in Vegas. This kid has his head screwed on straight. He wins football games. He gives 110% every moment he is out on the field.
If you have a chance to watch Tebow play, I highly recommend you do. You too will contract Tebow fever. You just cannot help but like this guy.
Oh and did I mention he is freaking hot???
Category Denver Broncos, Tebow Fever, Tebowing, Tim Tebow | Tags: | Comments Off on Forget Bieber Fever…I Have Tebow Fever