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‘zombies’ Category

  1. “World War Z” Freaked Me Out *Spoilers*

    July 12, 2013 by C.

    Hubba hubba

    Hubba hubba

     

     

     

     

     

    I went to see “World War Z” last week. As someone who loves zombies, I thought I would really enjoy it…all it did was stress me out.

     

     

    This is Brad Pitt. He is pretty even with chunks of glass in his face. He is a super bad ass man and the government needs his help solving the zombie crisis. Brad takes his family and survives long enough for the gov to get a helicopter on a roof to pick them up and whisk them off to a giant ship in the middle of a nowhere ocean (zombies can’t swim). He’s told if he goes back to work for them his family can stay on the safe boat as long as they like, so he goes off to experience zombie hell.

    Brad travels to Israel because they built huge walls before the virus swept the world, so they are protected and Brad needs to know how they found out about the virus before it happened. Brad brings bad luck wherever he goes. Some chick starts singing over a loudspeaker waiting in line to be admitted to the country and of course, zombies love noise. Crazy corpses start climbing over each other to scale up the huge walls.

    Zombie leap frog

    Zombie leap-frog

     

     

     

    They breach the top of the wall and are running all over the place having people snacks. They get Brad out of there but not before the zombies overturn buses and yank down helicopters to get to the humans.

     

     

    Greyhound is gonna be pissed about their bus.

    Greyhound is gonna be pissed about their bus.

     

     

     

    This is the part of the movie I really enjoyed because the special effects are pretty amazing.

     

     

    Black Hawk Down

    Black Hawk Down

     

     

    Brad and his new friend (some military chick that helped him get out of the zombie zone) jump on one of the last planes to get out of the country. They don’t even have any idea where they are going, but it is better than being served up for zombie brunch.

     

     

    One of many zombies on the plane

    One of many zombies on the plane

     

     

    Just as they start to relax, Brad hears noise in the back of the plane and slowly starts walking in that direction. There are zombies on the plane! If you ask me, this is way worse than Snakes On a Plane. Samuel L Jackson is a wuss. Mayhem arrives from the TV commercials and the side of the plane winds up being cracked open. But somehow Brad survives the plane crash with his military chick.

    In the meantime,  the government thinks Brad is dead and removes his family from the safe boat. They are nice enough to dump them on an island in Nova Scotia though.

    I won’t tell you how it ends because that would just be rude. So go check it out if you would like.

    It did make me feel an urge to start prepping again. The scenes with people going nuts in the grocery store trying to take things as the zombie outbreak was starting, has really made me feel the need to store quadruple the supplies I have now.

    The purchase I have made this week is the Ranger Hawk Axe. Wood chopper on one side and zombie eye poker-outer on the other. I cannot wait for it to arrive.

    My weapon of choice

    My weapon of choice

     

     

    So really, I am very thankful that I went to see the movie because I was starting to let my guard down again. It won’t happen again. When this hits the fan, you might want to start making your way to my house.

     

     

     

     

     

     

     


  2. Walk With the Walking Dead

    October 6, 2012 by C.

    I love this show!

     

     

    A trip to Atlanta to visit this season’s prison set and you get to meet and greet some of the cast then watch the premiere. Two nights in a hotel sounds pretty darn good too. I love staying in hotels especially when someone else is paying for it.

    I MUST WIN!!!!


  3. Guy Branum Talks Zombies

    August 23, 2012 by C.

    I love Guy Branum. He is one of my favorites on Chelsea Handler’s round table. However, I think I might love Guy more when he is explaining how to survive the Zombie Apocalypse. Thanks for sending it over Stephanie!

     

     

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  4. Officially Obsessed With “The Walking Dead”

    July 21, 2012 by C.

    I made the mistake of buying Season One of “The Walking Dead” on Blu-ray. I watched all six episodes back to back without taking a bathroom break or snacking on Oreos. That is really saying something.

    A few weeks ago, they played Season Two in a marathon on AMC. I have it all taped and have been watching it as much as possible. I have three episodes left. Season Three starts in October and I cannot wait.

    My favorite character is Daryl. He is a redneck with a crossbow. So between Katniss Everdeen (The Hunger Games) and Daryl, I want to shoot things with an arrow. Preferably Zombies. So I am saving up for yet another Ebay purchase.

    Zombies…ready or not here I come!

     

     

    How freaking cool is this thing? You need to use these to kill zombies because guns make too much noise (noise is like ringing a Zombie dinner bell) and if time permits you can rip your arrow out of the zombie’s head and re-use it. With a gun, once you are out of ammo you= Zombie snack.

    I cannot believe this is only $100 on Ebay (shipping is free!). Once I get it in the mail, I will purchase a bale of hay and strap on a Zombie head to use as a target. I haven’t quite figured out what to do if one of my arrows strays and maims a neighbor. I will try to have that all sorted out before I start shooting.

    I imagine I will look like the female version of Daryl. With this on my shoulder, no one would ever screw with me. Not even those bath salt crazies.

    This man is the Zombie Terminator.

     

     

    Is crossbow shooting an Olympic sport? I am going to start training and be ready for the 2016 Olympics or the Zombie Apocalypse, whichever comes first.

     

     

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  5. I Love Ebay

    July 18, 2012 by C.

    My latest Ebay purchase. I know you are jealous.


  6. Zombie Apocalypse Coming Soon

    May 30, 2012 by C.

    Have you seen the news lately? Zombies are popping out of the woodwork.

    Let’s start with the face eating Zombie from Miami, Florida. A naked man, chewing on a homeless man’s face. When asked nicely to stop chewing on the man’s nose, Zombie turned around and growled at the cop, then went back to eating.The cop shot him, but our Zombie continued with his Sunday brunch. It took 6 shots to kill this guy. I don’t know about you, but to me that sounds like a serious Zombie attack and it really freaks me out.

    Then this morning, I read another Zombie stabbed himself and as the police were trying to subdue him, he started throwing pieces of his intestines and skin at them. Here is the important piece of information…the police sprayed him with pepper spray before he started    the intestine toss and it did not phase him. Are you getting the picture, folks?

    Maybe this will help spell it out for you if you are a little slow…http://theoatmeal.com/comics/zombie_how

    We’re screwed, bitches!

    However if you start preparing now, chances are you might survive at least 2-3 days. Look, the world is going to come to a bloody nasty end soon, so you might as well rack up those credit cards buying preparation supplies or just buy a bunch of shit you have wanted for a long time, because you truly won’t be around long enough to pay the bills.

    ***Note from the law office of French, Frye and Coke—She is joking. Our client will not be held accountable. Do not charge up your credit cards preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse. She is really dumb to believe all this crazy shit, but she pays us well.***

    I will keep this short and sweet as I am busy putting together my list of supplies to survive this mess. If you need a cheat sheet to get started with your purchases here is what I have on my list so far…

    Shotgun (duh)

    bullets for shotgun

    Monster truck (if you don’t shoot very well at least you can run over them)

    First aid kit

    Rations

    Many cases of Coke

    Some of these so you can wipe the Zombie goo from your eye protection. Of course, Elton John is already prepared for the Zombie Apocalypse.

     

     

     

     

    70 inch LED Flat screen (ok, that has nothing to do with Zombies…I just want one).

    Chainsaw

    Friends like these that you won’t feel bad about sacrificing to the Zombies…

    ***Do not sacrifice them until they have found you a nice hidey hole, killed a cow and butchered it all up into some nice T-bones and built you a fire. Then you can let the Zombies have them.***

    This is some serious stuff and shouldn’t be taken lightly. The next story I read about someone chowing on another human or using their own blood as paint, I am grabbing my Bug Out Bag (bit.ly/MZcvXA) and heading for the hills.


  7. Life is a Bitch Then You Die, Live and Die Again

    June 25, 2011 by C.

    Fagliyu Mukametzyanova, 49, had died of an apparent heart attack. She collapsed in her home with chest pains and was pronounced dead by doctors in Russia.


    Later in the day, they held the funeral for Fagliyu. Apparently, the Russians aren’t into embalming. The mourners were passing by her coffin when she suddenly woke up, realized what was going on and started screaming. 


    She lived approximately 12 more minutes and then died again from the shock of being in a coffin with people praying over her soul. 


    Her husband is a bit crabby and wants the doctors that pronounced her dead to do some explaining.  “She wasn’t dead when they said she was and they could have saved her.” Poor guy. 


    At times I have thought it would be cool to get to watch your own funeral. Being able to see just who really misses you and the ones that cannot wait to pilfer through your belongings to sell them on Ebay. After reading about poor Fagliyu I think I may have changed my mind. Can you imagine waking up and realizing what was going on?? I would be really scared but then start to realize…hey I am alive! And then die again. What a downer from my miraculous resurrection. 


    I would imagine the doctors in that town were busy that evening with other heart failures. Those mourners probably thought she was some sort of zombie coming to drag them all into the grave. I know for sure I would have hit the doors and not stopped running until I made it safely to Finland.