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Crashing Satellites is the Least of Your Worries

09/20/2011 by C.

Those fun guys at NASA have reported that a giant satellite will come crashing into Earth one day this week. By their best guestimations it will hit Thursday, Friday or Saturday. I thought rocket scientists were supposed to be smart?? Can’t you guys narrow that down a bit more for us? I may just have to call up Miss Cleo and ask what she sees in her crystal ball.
They estimate about 26 pieces will survive reentry and crash to the Earth, the largest chunk weighing right around 300 pounds. Yep, that will leave a mark. NASA says they will try to get a more accurate calculation the closer it gets to Earth to narrow down where the pieces will land. The chances of a person on Earth getting hit is 1 in 3200. Um, when you think about it that is a pretty good chance.  Or so I thought.
While researching the odds of dying in the US I became very shocked that I had managed to live this long. I thought I would share a few with you.
Dying in a car accident… 1 in 100
Chances of dying by falling down… 1 in 246
Chances of dying of assault from firearm…1 in 325 *ordered up a bulletproof vest from*
Chances of dying of a fire or smoke…1 in 1,116. *I suppose I need to climb my big butt up on a ladder and change the batteries out on my smoke detectors. The odds of dying due to falling off a ladder only 1 in 10, 010*
Fatally slipping in a bath or shower…1 in 2232 *I will no longer be bathing…just FYI you might wanna stay clear*
When I first heard the news of the crashing satellite I was going to start to prepare for impact…find my football helmet, start building a fort in my crawl space and doubling up on my homeowners insurance but now I am not so worried. What a relief! Now I am in a great mood and want to share a few fun odds with you.
Chances you will date a supermodel…1 in 88,000
Odds of dating a millionaire… 1 in 215
Odds of finding out your child is a genius…1 in 250
Last but not least…my personal favorite…Odds of writing a New York Times Bestseller…1 in 220.

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