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Delivery To Up Your Butt, New Jersey

06/03/2011 by C.

This is a photo from the truck stop just east of town, moments after the tornado went through Joplin, MO.

Trucks are my business. My job five days a week is to find business for the trucking company I work for. We are a bit abnormal for a trucking company in that we do not actually move trucks and trailers filled with goodies. We just move trucks. Let’s say you have a truck in Nashville, TN that you need delivered to another dealer in Salt Lake City, UT. You call me, I quote it and we work on finding a driver to get to Nashville and drive your truck to Salt Lake City. Besides doing that I also handle customer service for a Mack Trucks national account. My days are spent e-mailing, calling and bugging strangers to let me move their trucks. So as you can imagine, our town being hit by a F5 tornado has really screwed with communications. From Sunday until Tuesday afternoon we had absolutely no power. Come into work on Wednesday and the computers won’t work, our phones are dead and our cell phones cannot get a signal now inside the building.

I was supplied with a Sprint wireless card and sent home to work. I was finally able to check my e-mails Wednesday evening but the connection was worse than dial-up so it was a very slow process to get through all 250 e-mails. Five of those e-mails were from the same customer that needed a quote. He sent two on Monday and 3 on Tuesday. The last one read, “Why are you not responding to my e-mails????????????????????”

Now, I know this person had no idea where we were located and was just frustrated but I too was a little angry that a stupid tornado wiped a third of my town off the map. Here is my response…

Mr. Dickhead (ok, I put his real name here)
I am terribly sorry for the delay in getting you a quote. Our offices are in Joplin, MO. As you may have seen on the news we were hit with a F5 tornado and a good portion of our town has been destroyed. Needless to say communication has been a challenge for us. To be honest, we are all just fortunate to be alive and have an office to work in.
The rate to move your truck from Poopstain, NM to Up Your Butt, NJ is $10,500 ( a 75% markup).
Again, I am sorry that it took so long to get a response from us. Have a great evening!
Not so sincerely,

Of course he responded with, “Oh my God, I had no idea. I am so sorry. I will keep Joplin in my prayers.” So then I felt a little guilty and wrote back…”Just for praying for Joplin, I am going to give you a 5% discount! We really need some prayers!”

Some days I like my job and some days it makes me want to kill people. Is that normal???


  1. Grumpy says:

    Nice letter. I admire your restraint. Like I've been telling my friends, pray for Joplin later, donate to the relief effort now.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Did you get the job? Guilt is a powerful seller.

  3. C.B. says:

    You are a champ Grumpy! Thank you!
    No, I did not get to move his truck, he had already found another carrier because it took me sooooooooooo long to respond. LOL

  4. Nicole says:

    In response to the job yes it is normal! I lived it and get it!

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