Several weeks ago I noticed a weird mole growing in the middle of my back. It was hard to see it up close but I knew that it hurt when water would hit it in the shower, so something wasn’t right.
The local dermatologists are booked for six months out. There are only two of them in town and they share the same office. Recently, the doctor I go to has set up a nurse practitioner in the basement of the building so they can see more patients.
I called on Monday and got in today. That is totally awesome.
Doctor visits have always made me very nervous. I have had a few moles removed before so I knew what to expect but was still nervous.
After speaking to the nurse, I sat and watched “Little House on the Prairie” until the lady came in. Was Nellie always so ugly??
Immediately the nurse practitioner looked very familiar. I started having a panic attack. Who the hell is this woman and where had I seen her before? My imagination runs wild and I am certain I have a back full of giant moles with hairs long enough to braid coming out of them and this woman who I seem to know is going to be completely disgusted. When she asked me to pull my shirt up so she could look I nearly passed out. I just held my breath.
She didn’t seem to recognize me or my hairy moles so I was just going to play dumb. She quickly got a tray set up to remove the mole and was very friendly. She chatted about how long she had worked there, that she did not want to become a doctor and how nice the weather was today.
Then she turned and flipped her hair a certain way and I knew. We went to high school together. She was a cheerleader. I was a freak. Lovely.
I couldn’t get out of that office fast enough. I don’t think she had any clue, but I didn’t want to hang around any longer so she could figure it out.
This could have been much more embarrassing I suppose. I could have had a bad case of butt acne or a rash on my boobs. Now I know if that ever happens, I will have to see an out of network doctor in another city for sure.