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Devil Driving my Dream Car

04/21/2013 by C.

Hello beautiful!

Hello beautiful!

 

 

A Buick Enclave, also known as my dream car. In my world, spending over $40,000 on a car like this is not feasible. The only way I would ever own a car like this is if I were to win the Powerball. Until that happens I will continue driving a Kia.

This is my favorite color for the Enclave. Every morning on my way to work I pass this car…my dream car. One morning I looked over trying to get a peek at the person driving my baby. This really was not a wise thing to do because I have started to dislike this woman.

She is older…I would say late 50’s, dresses like an old lady in those gross polyester print shirts and has a ring on every finger (why do women do this???). But here is the real pisser. SHE SMOKES IN MY CAR! As you can see from the photo she does crack the window a bit to flip out her ashes and drop the butts when she is done. How considerate.

I sometimes talk to my car as I am passing by…

Me: Good morning beautiful!

Car: Hey.

Me: Why so sad?

Car: She burnt a hole in my seat with her nasty cigarette this morning.

Me: That’s it! I am going to smash her prune face into…

Car: Calm down…I will live.

Me: You should be with me. She doesn’t deserve you.

Car: Chanin, you couldn’t afford me. I would just get repoed.

Me: Ouch. The truth hurts. Well, I will figure something out to get you away from her. Until tomorrow my love…

It really is torture passing this woman daily. I have considered taking other routes but I have to stop at Walgreens daily and going any other way would make me late for work. So I must suffer.

It makes me wonder if there are any people driving past me every morning jealous of my awesome Kia Rondo.

Probably not.

 

 


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