Me: “Hey, Mom. What’s up?
Mom: “What in the hell is wrong with you?”
Me: “High blood pressure, anemia, sleep apnea and anxiety issues over a book I am reading. Have you ever heard of a carnivorous island? Is that even possible? What if our soil becomes carnivorous and all that is left of us is our teeth wrapped up in leaves?”
Mom: “I am talking about making fun of Anne Frank. It is completely unacceptable. I am embarrassed that you would do such a thing. She is a martyr! I am guessing you have no idea who she is or what she went through. Unbelievable. What do you have to say for yourself?”
Me: “I don’t recall making fun of Anne Frank and yes I know who she was and what she went through thank you very much. She invented the Frankfurter and I am really grateful because I love hot dogs.”
Extremely long pause.
Mom: “You cannot be that stupid, can you? You made fun of her on Pinterest.”
Me: “I don’t know what you are talking about.”
Mom: “It was a picture of Anne Frank that had “WTF” at the top.”
Me: “Did you click on the picture and read the whole thing?”
Mom: “Oh no, I saw enough.”
Me: “Well, if you had clicked on it you would have seen the rest of the text that read, “you guys read my diary???” You know like any teenage girl would react when she found out a bunch of people had read her diary?”
Mom: “It is not funny at all. Leave Anne Frank alone. There is nothing funny about the Holocaust.”
I have to sneak on her computer and un-follow me on Pinterest so she doesn’t see what I pin anymore. Besides, looking at all her photos of Thor is kind of disturbing.
Why did I think it was a great idea to get her a computer???