Last weekend I binge watched “Orange is the New Black” on Netflix. This show is so addictive, I barely moved off the couch at all on Sunday. Thank God for Papa John’s delivery.
The story is of Piper Chapman, a normal girl that made a mistake once and was named in a trial as part of a plea deal, so she was sent off to prison to serve 15 months. It is based on a true story of Piper Kerman and was written as a book first (I will be adding it to my Barnes and Noble Wish List).
The show is smart, funny and seriously entertaining. Each actress plays her character so well…it is an excellent ensemble cast of talented women. The men of the cast are pretty great too.
Since finishing the show, I cannot help but think I really want to go to prison. Here are the reasons…
- It would be so boring, that working out would seem like fun and I would be ripped in no time.
- I could catch up on all the books I have ever wanted to read but hadn’t had the time to get around to. In prison, I would have nothing but time.
- Free health insurance. It wouldn’t be the best care in the world, but it would be free.
- No bills at all. No rent, no car payment and you are provided some really nice scrub outfits that I am all about…especially since they are comfy.
- Time to actually work on writing a book.
- From what I hear, the food is so disgusting; I would be skinny within 6 months.
The only thing keeping me away from committing a crime and heading off to prison is the fact they do not have internet access. I would want to update Facebook with my smartphone to let everyone know how much fun I was having in prison.
Check it out! MTV is here filming “Scared Straight”. Lukika gonna bitch slap a few of these twerps. But I think her roots will scare them enough they will never want to be locked up for any time at all. Can you say nasty ass hair? Peace out!
Shanice yelled at me and said, “quick take a picture to prove I don’t kill EVERYTHING I come in contact with. Maybe they look at my shit on Facebook and I will get out early for good behavior, cause I could have smashed the shit out of this butterfly.”
I am so intrigued with prison lately, I was searching out a prison pen-pal today. I e-mailed a friend and told her what I was doing.
“What in the hell is wrong with you?” she asked.
“I feel bad for them. I am sure it would suck that your only friends are prisoners. Maybe I could change someone’s life,” I replied.
“You are such an idiot. They will get all sorts of information out of you, not to mention your address and come rob you or kill you when they get out. God, why are we friends?” she asked.
Maybe I should re-think the whole pen-pal thing or at least only talk to the ones that have life sentences with no chance of parole.