I am just a few weeks away from my 40th birthday. I have mixed emotions about this. People have been telling me that age is just a number and you are just as old as you feel. Bullshit. 40 is 40 is 40. It is a number and it is not a good one. I would prefer a 31 or 32. Do I prefer it to 50 or 60? Of course.
I do have to say I feel very fortunate to have lived this long. When I was around 12 or so, I read an astrology magazine my aunt had lying around and came across something that for whatever reason made me believe I would die at age 28. Seriously. When I turned 28, I spent the day locked in my bathroom hyperventilating. My thinking was if I just stay in the bathroom all day the chances of the Grim Reaper running me over with a bus or pushing a stray bullet into my chest were slim to none. It worked!
I am not where I had always envisioned myself being at age 40. I don’t have a beach house. Or season tickets to Pittsburgh Steelers games. I have not written a best seller, gone on tour with the Dave Matthews band or won an Oscar. I don’t even have a third of my bucket list crossed off.
What I do have is wonderful family and friends. A roof over my head and food on my table (does McDonald’s really count as food?). My life has been blessed for 40 years. I have accomplished some major things, overcome some obstacles and had a lot of fun.
I bid my 30’s farewell and look ahead to what the 40’s have in store for me. Hopefully more than cheaper car insurance and a pair of reading glasses.