I used one of my vacation days to go stalking with my sister. They are filming the movie, “August: Osage County” near where she lives and we thought we would spend the day looking for George Clooney and the gang.
These AOC signs direct you to where they are filming. You need directions because the set location is in the real BFE.
After scouting out the situation we decided it would be best to park on the volunteer fire station parking lot. Our spot was between what I call “Trailer Town” (where all the stars have their fancy trailers parked) and the house they are filming in.
First star spotted was Julia Roberts. They use these large white passenger vans to transport the stars from the trailer to the house when it is time for them to shoot. When they finish, the van picks them up and takes them back to their trailer. You would not believe how many times they run back and forth. We were out there about 6 hours and saw Meryl in her wig, Julia Roberts, Juliette Lewis and Abigail Breslin. We think we saw Chris Cooper but hard to tell the guys apart as they are zooming by. No George.
After a couple of hours the sheriff pulled up. I was ecstatic. How awesome would it be to get arrested for stalking George Clooney? Well, awesome at least for a blog post or two. After that, not so much.
Instead of busting us, he walks to the port-a-pot parked next to the fire station. Now, this is just how not threatened he was by us in our Mommy van. He left his car running and unlocked. How insulting. Mini-van moms are bad asses too!
When he exits, my sister asks why he is going to the bathroom so far from his post. He said,”This is the bathroom they have set up for us to use”. He then tells us they get to eat in the tents with the stars but so far he had only seen George Clooney and Juliette Lewis. I cannot imagine eating anywhere near George Clooney. I would have food dribbled all over my boobs in no time. I swear my boobs eat more than I do.
He asks what we were doing and we told him just watching the stars drive by and praying they get so bored they might stop. He just laughed. I love a cop that is nice to stalkers. He wished us good luck and took off.
The closest town was 15 miles away. Luckily they had a Pizza Hut. We called in our lunch and then raced to Kansas to pick it up. We shared our cheesy bread sticks and kicked back just like we were watching a movie and sharing popcorn. It was a beautiful day (except for the smell of cow patties) and we were watching beautiful people make a movie. Or at least be driven to make a movie.
We were pulling out to leave and I was going to get a photo of trailer town to share with you all. A truck was backing out of that area so we had to sit in the road and wait. They waved us through and just as I was about to take the photo I saw Julia Robert’s body-guard glaring at me. I pull the camera back in and smile and wave. Arms crossed against his massive chest, muscles flexed and the angriest look on his face…he just kept glaring even after I was all nice and didn’t take a photo. This man was choking me telekinetically. He looked at me like he wanted me dead and quickly.
I don’t think my sister has seen this so I say, “that man was super angry for some reason and I think he wants me dead.”
“Oh, well that might be because he knows my car. How did you think I knew he was her bodyguard?” she asked.
“He knows your car???? I ask.
“Yea, I was trying to get into those loft apartments Julia and Meryl are living in. Plus, I drive by all the time. He must have recognized my car from standing out there guarding the place,” she said.
It was then I realized that my sister has become the better stalker of the two of us. Her children regularly ask, “Mom, are we going stalking tonight?”
It has become a part of her everyday life and I enjoy being a hermit far too much to be near as dedicated as she is. But then I think, if this was going on in my town I would probably quit my job and hunt for George full-time.
We might both have some serious issues.