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  1. Poppy Seeds Can Kill

    October 29, 2013 by C.

    So funny

    So funny



    I am not sure if you all have played around with Bitstrips yet but I love it. It is my new favorite app, when it is working. They have been having some issues on Facebook lately due to high demand but if you have a smart phone the mobile app seems to be working ok.

    Bitstrips allows you to make a cartoon version of yourself and then put yourself in cartoons. If your friends are on you can add them to your cartoons. It is just really fun to play with. I highly recommend you get on there asap.

    So if you read my blog a few weeks ago about my friend that seems to have allergy issues if eating poppy seeds you would totally get this cartoon she made and sent me today. If you haven’t read it, read it here.

    I just love the look on my face like…”oh my bad, sorry you have turned purple and can’t breathe.” I seem to find it comical…like maybe she is faking it. Knowing her she is. Thanks for the laugh today, Cindy!

  2. Candy Crush Saga Owns Me

    July 19, 2013 by C.

    Candy Crush Saga was invented by Satan. That is the only way I can explain the unhealthy addiction I have developed with this game.

    It all started a few months ago, when several people started sending me Facebook requests for lives. Being the Facebook game snob I was, I would chuckle and think to myself, step away from stupid Facebook games and you might get a life. So confident was I, that I would never be addicted to such a stupid, time-wasting game. Yea, I am an idiot.

    The requests multiplied. It piqued my curiosity. What is this game that people cannot stop playing?

    What I intended to be a one game peek into the addictive game turned into an entire evening wasted and ended with my advancing to level 25. How could this happen?

    A few weeks ago, I was out to lunch with a friend that I only see once a week. She was late so I started up a game while waiting for her to arrive. She kept talking and I kept playing. She finally grabbed the top of my phone trying to take it away from me and I growled at her like a mad dog and told her to stop talking. For some reason, we haven’t had lunch since.

    Candy Crush Saga has been compared to Bejeweled and Tetris. I have never played Bejeweled so I really cannot comment on that, but I did get addicted to Tetris in my twenties and would play until my eye-balls bled. At least with Candy Crush you run out of lives, and have to wait 30 minutes before you are given another one (or if you are impatient like me, you can send frantic text messages to friends at 1am begging them to wake the hell up and send you a life).

    Each episode requires you to get tickets from friends before you can advance. This is what causes me the most anxiety. I send the requests and can go nowhere until I receive my tickets. If I don’t have them within five minutes I start getting sweaty and pace around the room. After ten minutes, I am screaming, “You bastards have no life-like me! Send me the damn tickets already!!!” It’s not pretty, but this is another example of the kind of person this game will turn you into.

    The game has also turned me into a hater of chocolate. In Candy Crush, the chocolate eats up the candies you would combine if you don’t get rid of them fast enough. This makes winning your level darn near impossible. I usually wind up flipping off my computer monitor (or cellphone or tablet) and cursing, “F*%^ you, Chocolate, f*%^ you!!!!!” Of late, just walking down the candy aisle of a convenience store makes me all itchy and I have a desire to start smashing all the chocolate in sight. Take my word, you will soon read a story about a person losing it and smashing up chocolate bars in a store. Hopefully it won’t be me, but at the rate I am going it is hard to say I won’t attempt it.

    Some levels are a breeze to get through, but then others like Level 65 took me about a month to finally get past (I am not participating in the date switch cheating thing that people are doing…I want to win the old-fashioned way). Once I got past level 65, I zoomed right up to level 70 and have been stuck there ever since. I feel like I won’t be stuck much longer with my latest purchase…I will be through all 440 levels in no time at all with my lucky socks!


    This should do the trick!

    This should do the trick!

  3. Mother Masked Me

    January 25, 2013 by C.






    This evening I got to the hotel and mother was being snarky so I had to put her in her place.

    “I believe I am footing the bill for this hotel room so when I come in after a hard day at work I expect my bed turned down and my slippers waiting by the door.”

    “Chanin, you are not footing the bill for this hotel. The company you work for is.”

    “Same diff. I didn’t see you whipping out any plastic at check-in so I expect you to get with it and make my stay much more pleasurable for the last week we are here or you will immediately be placed in an old folks home once we arrive back home.”

    She just glared at me.

    I have injured my back and pretty much get doped up on muscle relaxers once I get in for the evening. I got out my head pad and leaned back against it to watch a few episodes of Downton Abbey.

    I had my headphones in and was all involved in the show (Lord Anthony was ditching poor Edith at the alter…what an old bastard!). I see my mom moving pretty quickly for her age out of the corner of my eye. Next thing I know she is on top of me with a tube of something smearing it all over my face. Being half-doped, depressed for poor Edith and in pain, I really had no chance to get out of her death grip.

    Through my Downton soundtrack, I hear her say that I am getting older and need to take much better care of my skin (she has been saying this since I was 12). Could these drugs be so good that I am imagining all of this? Who attacks their daughter with a facial mask???

    Someone not in their right mind and on their way to the old folks home, that’s who.

    To make matters worse she is laughing so hard she starts farting. At this point I am praying the pain in my back gets so bad I will lose consciousness.

    When she finally releases me, she says in her snarky voice, “Now snap a picture of that and share it on Facebook with all your friends.”

    So I did…well not on Facebook, but on my blog. She really doesn’t know the difference between the two so does it really matter?

  4. Technologically Impaired Parents

    September 1, 2012 by C.

    “How does this work with no phone line plugged in??”




    As many of you know my sister and I got our mother a laptop for Christmas. She has resisted using it until recently. She now uses it to look up recipes and shop the clearance items offered up by QVC. I have asked several times if she wanted an e-mail address and she has refused to let me set it up for her, until recently.

    “Mom, I am going to set you up with Gmail today,” I said.

    “Gmail? I thought it’s called e-mail,” she replied.

    Oh boy.

    She is only 62. I pray I am able to stay semi-current with technology when I am that age. What exactly happens as you age that you don’t care about computers, HDTVs and smart phones? All these things improve your quality of life so why would you resist them? Even though I set up an e-mail address for my mother, I know she will never even open it. She just wants to continue to resist anything new to her.

    I thought this was something that only happened to my mother but she isn’t the only one. A friend of mine received a call from her mother.

    “Can you tell me how to print something I have found on YouTube?” she asked her daughter.

    “Um, Mom you can’t print things you find on YouTube because you are watching a video…it’s not in writing,” she replied.

    Feeling a little better about things I went over to visit mom last week and let her know that the wireless connection we share had been acting up all day. I was afraid she would think she had done something to break the computer and just toss it in the trash.

    “Mom, the internet has been messing up today, so if you get a blank page, just be patient,” I told her.

    “What causes the internet to mess up? Do you think it might be because I hired that guy to powerwash the house the other day and it got all the cables wet?” she asked.

    I just stared at her.

    We had thought of getting her a Kindle this Christmas, but when I showed her my Nook she did not seem to receptive.

    “You read books on that? How does a book get into that thing?” she asked.

    “Well, I click on the link to Barnes and Noble, it takes me to an online store and I buy the book I want. Once it is paid for they send it electronically to this device,” I explained.

    I then showed her a few of the features, including how to make the font larger for easier reading (I thought that she would really like that since she complains about not being able to see).

    “Pretty cool, huh Mom?” I asked.

    “No, not really,” she said.

    Next Christmas she is getting a Snuggie.



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  5. Trading TVs For Guns

    July 25, 2012 by C.

    What a thing of beauty!



    This is my TV. As you can see it is the size of a Toyota Prius. It took four men to get it into my house when I moved back to Missouri. I bought her (yes, my TV is a she and her name is Tara P. Telly) in 2004 from Best Buy and paid a fortune for it.

    My living room is quite small and I felt it might be time to act like an adult and buy something called a couch. It is hard to seat six people on my two theater chairs. It was time to sell Tara.

    So I put an ad on Facebook. No one responded (because most of my friends have seen this monster up close and have no desire to move it). I then listed it on Craigslist. I had a couple of guys respond and make appointments to see her, but they never showed up. But the other night was my best offer yet.


    ** Avoid: wiring money, cross-border deals, work-at-home
    ** Beware: cashier checks, money orders, escrow, shipping
    ** More Info:

    Would you be interested in trading a gun for the TV


    Would I be interested in trading a gun for my TV???? How did he know I am obsessed with weaponry right now? It is like he was reading my mind. I seriously had to consider this offer for a moment. If this man had said to trade her for a crossbow it would have been a done deal, people. Guns still make me a little nervous. So I replied.

    “No thanks! Guns kill people. Got a crossbow???????????”

    For some reason I never heard from him again.

    My co-worker, Kori, has sold my TV for me (the reward for her hard work… she is now a huge internet star thanks to me mentioning her name…you’re welcome). The new owner will come pick her up next week. I must admit I am very sad about this. Tara and I have been through a bunch of things together…three Pittsburgh Steelers Super Bowl trips, Adam Lambert performing on American Idol, True Blood marathons and epic video game parties…just to name a few. She will be missed.

    This will hopefully be her replacement:

    What’s my name, bitches???


    That is an 80 inch TV that will hang on the wall so I can still have a giant TV and a couch. Yep, I am damn smart.


    So he/she needs a name. Let’s have a contest. You submit your name suggestions and I pick a winner. A prize you ask???

    You are picking the name of my 2nd child. Isn’t that enough??



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