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Posts Tagged ‘Missouri’

  1. Trading TVs For Guns

    July 25, 2012 by C.

    What a thing of beauty!



    This is my TV. As you can see it is the size of a Toyota Prius. It took four men to get it into my house when I moved back to Missouri. I bought her (yes, my TV is a she and her name is Tara P. Telly) in 2004 from Best Buy and paid a fortune for it.

    My living room is quite small and I felt it might be time to act like an adult and buy something called a couch. It is hard to seat six people on my two theater chairs. It was time to sell Tara.

    So I put an ad on Facebook. No one responded (because most of my friends have seen this monster up close and have no desire to move it). I then listed it on Craigslist. I had a couple of guys respond and make appointments to see her, but they never showed up. But the other night was my best offer yet.


    ** Avoid: wiring money, cross-border deals, work-at-home
    ** Beware: cashier checks, money orders, escrow, shipping
    ** More Info:

    Would you be interested in trading a gun for the TV


    Would I be interested in trading a gun for my TV???? How did he know I am obsessed with weaponry right now? It is like he was reading my mind. I seriously had to consider this offer for a moment. If this man had said to trade her for a crossbow it would have been a done deal, people. Guns still make me a little nervous. So I replied.

    “No thanks! Guns kill people. Got a crossbow???????????”

    For some reason I never heard from him again.

    My co-worker, Kori, has sold my TV for me (the reward for her hard work… she is now a huge internet star thanks to me mentioning her name…you’re welcome). The new owner will come pick her up next week. I must admit I am very sad about this. Tara and I have been through a bunch of things together…three Pittsburgh Steelers Super Bowl trips, Adam Lambert performing on American Idol, True Blood marathons and epic video game parties…just to name a few. She will be missed.

    This will hopefully be her replacement:

    What’s my name, bitches???


    That is an 80 inch TV that will hang on the wall so I can still have a giant TV and a couch. Yep, I am damn smart.


    So he/she needs a name. Let’s have a contest. You submit your name suggestions and I pick a winner. A prize you ask???

    You are picking the name of my 2nd child. Isn’t that enough??



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  2. Get “Gone Girl”

    July 4, 2012 by C.


    I rarely recommend books to anyone. I always have this fear that they will spend a few days of their life reading a book I told them about and absolutely hate it. Then blame me for wasting three days of their life.

    “I missed out on a “Golden Girls” marathon thanks to you and your stupid book. You have such taste for shit.”

    So I am really stepping out on a limb here. You must put down your cocktail and jump in the family mobile and race to your nearest bookstore and pick up, “Gone Girl” by Gillian Flynn.

    The story is based on a married couple that has to move from New York City to Missouri, due to hard times and a family illness. The husband runs a bar there purchased with his wife’s money (her family has money because of a book series her parents wrote). Nick and Amy were five years into their marriage when one day, Amy goes missing and it doesn’t look good.

    There are so many twists and turns in this book it will make your head spin. You will not want to put the book down. Then when you finish it you will think to yourself, “Can there really be people out there that nuts?”

    It truly blows my mind how the author put all this together. It makes my head hurt thinking about it.

    So if you are looking for the next book to read this summer…it has to be this one. I don’t think  you will be disappointed. But if you are, just forever blame me for your wasted hours that could have been spent on Pinterest.

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