RSS Feed

Posts Tagged ‘Mitt Romney’

  1. Presidential Race in the Hands of the Redskins

    November 3, 2012 by C.

    Why wait until Tuesday night?



    Want to know who will win Tuesday’s election a little early? Just tune in for the Redskins vs Panthers on Sunday afternoon. The Redskins are  an amazing predictor of who will win it. They have predicted the winner in 17 of 18 elections. That is 94.4% of the time.


    Since 1936, presidential election predictors have looked to the NFL to find out if the incumbent president will keep his job. The myth is that if the Washington Redskins win their last home game before the election, the incumbent party stays in power. If the Redskins lose, the challenging party takes the White House.

    The only time they were wrong was in 2004, when the Redskins lost to the Green Bay Packers, but incumbent President George W. Bush held onto the White House, beating Democratic rival John Kerry the week after the game.

    If I were Romney or Obama, I would have my ass at that game. I would promise the players no taxes for four years, access to the confiscated drug warehouse and unlimited use of Air Force One for a win on Sunday. If they let me down…

    “Son, have you ever heard of Guantanamo Bay?”

    I would be pacing the sidelines the whole game and would totally handle the halftime motivational speech.

    “You have a chance to make this country even greater than it is. You will be a hero. The ladies will love you…so will the men if you are into that. So, let’s get out there and win this one for me!”

    I can’t wait to see the results of Sunday’s game. The current line has Washington as a 3 point favorite over the Panthers. Doing a little research online, in the past 10 years the home team in the NFL  has a winning percentage of .572.

    Obama, you hear that? You might as well take the rest of the week off. You got this.

  2. This Election Can’t Be Over Fast Enough

    October 15, 2012 by C.

    Not much of a choice.

  3. Mitt Romney Steals Girlfriends

    July 31, 2012 by C.

    Mitt Romney, I am gonna whip your ass!



    This is Lowell Turpin of Claxton, Tennessee. Lowell is not a smart man.


    When he saw a picture of Mitt Romney, he had no idea who he was. It gets worse than Lowell just being ignorant. He saw Mitt’s picture on his girlfriend’s (can you imagine what she looks like??) Facebook page and accused her of planning an affair with Mitt.


    He demanded to know who the man was, jerked her laptop away from her, smashed it into a wall and punched her in the face. Lowell is in jail and has been charged with domestic assault.

    It astonishes me that a person would not know Mitt Romney from a photo. I mean his face is everywhere…the news, magazines, newspapers, he was even at the Olympics.

    Stories like this really frighten me. An American that cannot recognize Romney, but I would bet a million bucks he would know Troy from “Swamp People” in a smoky bar with beer goggles on. What is the world coming to???