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Posts Tagged ‘Parents’

  1. It Won’t Be the Same

    November 19, 2017 by C.


    I lost my Mom to cancer on October, 14th, 2017 and nothing has been the same since. This is not something I expected to go through this soon. My mother had just turned sixty-eight years old. She never had any real health issues for us to worry about. Before all of this hit, she was my neighbor, living next door to me in the duplex she owned and very rarely asked me for assistance with anything. But in July, she left her home via ambulance and little did we know at the time, was never to return home.

    It’s hard to understand why at times it just doesn’t seem real. This couldn’t have happened. And then something will make it real to me…images of her taking her last breath will pop in my head while driving to work, or going through the medical bills that are still coming in, or when flipping through my phone and seeing photos of her and then realizing why it hurts to look at them now.

    In a perfect world, I would just stay home and hide. Never leave the house. Put myself in a protective bubble and not allow others to breach it. The least of irritations set me off, angering me to a level I’ve never experienced. It can be something so simple, like my cell phone ringing. My biggest wish is just to be left alone. To not have to talk. Interacting with people is just so draining right now. I’m not sleeping well and I’m sure that has a bunch to do with all of this. Perhaps, a week of nothing but sleep would cure me, if I could actually go to sleep.

    The worst part of all of this is all the second guessing. I’m one of those strange people who would like to live/survive/thrive during something like a zombie apocalypse. I won’t quit until I have nothing left to give and I think I just expect that others are the same way. So of course, I wanted her to do chemo. She said she wanted to try the chemo and so we did. And I just can’t help but wonder was that the right decision. Did that expedite her death? She certainly wasn’t the same after trying it and we decided to stop. But maybe once was too much.

    The holidays are right around the corner and I just can’t deal with it right now. I don’t wish to participate. Rain check, please? But I will try. I will go through the motions, like I do every single day. I know it will be ok, I know it will get easier and that life goes on…blah, blah, blah. It will be ok but it will never be the same.



  2. Apparently Chasing Kids with Chainsaw is Illegal

    June 14, 2013 by C.

    Lynn Herzog

    Lynn Herzog





    Lynn Marie Herzog, of Winfield, MO was arrested and charged with felony harassment last week. What’s her crime? No, not her nasty case of Rosacea…Lynn was chasing kids with a chainsaw while wearing a ski mask (I feel the mask was to hide her Rosacea so not to cause the children to have horrific nightmares).

    It is unknown why she took the chainsaw after the kids. The mother of one of the boys said she never felt like the kid’s lives were in danger as the chainsaw was not running (I am a little disappointed in you, Lynn).

    The mother, Patricia Manker, and another neighbor reported that the woman has been seen photographing and video- taping the kids in the neighborhood.  That part is more disturbing to me than her chasing them with a chainsaw.

    Recently, I had a similar situation. There were children from the neighborhood playing between my house and the next door neighbor’s (about 6 ft. between the two houses). I could hear a baseball whacking the vinyl siding and knew I should get up and go out to shut them down but I was in the middle of writing in my office and was just irritated. The window in my office overlooks this area of the yard. I turned my computer speakers around and pulled up Spotify to play chainsaw noises as loud as they could possibly play. I then quickly switched to screaming sounds. Then I hit pause and listened.

    “Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, did you hear that???” one said.

    “What is going on in there?” asked another.

    “Let’s get out of here I am freaking out!” said another.

    And off they ran as fast as their little trespassing legs could carry them. I hope they come back again and throw their ball over my fence and I can laugh and laugh as they wet themselves from fear of having to ring my doorbell to retrieve it. Lynn Herzog and I are the same person…I just don’t own a chainsaw.


  3. Me and Mom Be Trippin’

    January 20, 2013 by C.

    Ohhhhh early bird dinner specials! Yea!

    Ohhhhh early bird dinner specials! Yea!





    As of today, I am starting on my 3rd week in Springfield, Ohio. When I was first told that I was going (for a week), my mom mentioned it might be fun for her to go along and she would pay her own way etc, etc. That was fine with me but then a few days before leaving it was turned into being gone for 2 weeks. I honestly thought she would want to stay home. I mean hell, I didn’t even want to go for a week, let alone for 2.

    Surprisingly, she said she still wanted to go. After being in Springfield for 3 days, this 2 week stay then turned into staying for a month. I volunteered to drive her home on a Saturday and drive back alone on a Sunday but she didn’t want to leave. She said she didn’t like the idea of my being alone all this time in a strange city. I am 41-years-old for shits sake!

    So here I sit, sharing a hotel room with my mom for 2 more weeks. The most disturbing part of this is that I am starting to act more and more like an old lady. Here are the new habits I have picked up from spending so much time with her…


    I like to have had my dinner no later than 6 pm. We have a routine where I get off work and pull up in front of the hotel, then we immediately go to wherever she has picked for dinner. Most nights it is a place that offers an early bird dinner special. She gets very excited about this because she boxes up part of it for her lunch the next day and saves money.

    I am in my pajamas by 7:30. Lights out usually by 9:30. At home, I was up past 11 every night.

    Laying out all of my medication the night before I need it. Thinking of getting a pill-box soon to match Mom’s.

    Bitching about all my hotel neighbors.”Seriously, another damn kids birthday party at the pool??? There is water all over the floor and someone is going to fall and break a hip!”

    There are things she does that I have not picked up on because frankly it freaks me out. Her evening treat is to get on my laptop (because she cannot figure out how to connect to the hotel Wi-Fi when I am not here) and getting online to look at the obituaries in our hometown online newspaper. Why do people look at this stuff? If a  friend or family member died, I would hope someone would notify you and you would not have to find out about it online. Why care about the deaths of complete strangers? This is what I hear every night, “Chanin, a 2-year-old baby died. Is that not horrible?”

    “Yes, it is horrible.”

    “Awwww and a 32-year-old woman. That is just too young to die. Oh, and she had kids! Those poor babies.”

    I got tired of listening to the stories of the dead strangers so I got out my tablet one night and filled my ears with headphones, watching a video. She just continued talking to me. I couldn’t hear what she was saying but I heard her voice just talking away about something…probably a homeless man died or something.

    Then there are her motherly warnings that are getting old now…

    We have been very fortunate and not had any snow while we have been here. But every morning, she gets up to warn me about black ice. I am not sure where this mystery black ice has come from but it is something that shows up during the night, every single night, just waiting out there on the highways to spin my car out of control.


    “Can you please get us back to the hotel? It is dark and I don’t like being out after dark. Someone will see these out-of-state plates and knock us in the head.”

    Being knocked in the head doesn’t sound so bad right now.


  4. Rambo Mama

    September 17, 2012 by C.

    “You’ll shoot your eye out!”



    Our backyard has become the most exciting place on earth.  After a few weeks, I was finally able to see the “baby grizzly bear” that was living in our backyard. I wanted to get close enough to get a picture but he would race under our storage shed when I walked out onto the deck.

    I am still not sure what it is but it is pretty big and scary looking. After getting a call every evening for several weeks from my mom to go out and shoot at it with my toy BB gun, I decided a BB gun of her own would be the perfect birthday gift for her.

    Of course, I had to buy a Red Ryder BB gun. We all loved the movie, “A Christmas Story” so it seemed like it would make it an even better gift to get the real deal. I went up to the Wal-mart checkout to pay for her present.

    Teen-age Checker: Can I ask why you are buying a BB gun?

    Me: It’s my mom’s birthday present.

    Teen-age Checker: You can’t be serious.

    Me: Yep, trust me she will love it. Our backyard is a wild kingdom and it will entertain her for hours to shoot at stuff in the yard. Plus it keeps her off QVC. Win-win situation.

    Strange old woman behind me in line: Every home should have a BB gun.

    Me: Damn right.

    I carry off my package with everyone giggling. I don’t care, I know she is going to love it.

    I was right. She was practically giddy when she was loading it up.

    Mom: No more worries. I will protect the home front.

    Me: Cool, mom. Just please don’t shoot the windows in the storage shed or shoot your eye out. (When exactly did I become the parent in this relationship?)

    Then I left her for several days without checking in. She called and invited me over for Sunday dinner.

    Mom: Well, I don’t think we will have to worry about the bear out back anymore.

    Me: Did you kill it????

    Mom: Oh no, but I am pretty sure I caused it to have a nervous breakdown. Could you get me more BBs the next time you go to Wal-mart?

    Me: I bought you 300 when I gave you the gun a week ago!

    Mom: I told you I caused it to have a nervous breakdown and leave. Grizzly bears don’t like it when it rains BBs.

    My mom has turned into Rambo. God help me.