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The Looming Vacation

07/07/2014 by C.

Slow down so I can chew on your ear!

Slow down so I can chew on your ear!




For whatever reason I got this crazy idea I should take my mother and my 11-year-old niece on a vacation this summer. We are going to road trip it up to South Dakota to see Mt. Rushmore and a few other attractions, then head over to Wyoming and then cut down to Colorado and spend a day in Estes Park, then head back home.

We ordered a few tourism guides and one of the things I saw was “Bear Country USA” south of Rapid City, SD. They have a “Babyland” where you can see baby bears up close and I thought my niece would love that. You also drive through their 250 acre park where you come across all sorts of wildlife…yes, including bears.

I made the mistake of mentioning it to my mother.

“Are you nuts??? Those bears could eat us! Or at the very least tear up your car!”

“Mom, we are in a car. If it gets too close, I just drive away. Pretty simple.”

“Obviously you have no idea how fast bears can run. They are much quicker than you think.”

“Can a bear run 40 miles per hour??? 60 miles per hour? Whatever it takes, I can outrun a damn bear in my car.”

“Chanin, I would just really prefer we skip doing this. It is just too dangerous.”

“We are doing this…I have already told Blakely about it. She is excited. If the bears get too close I will drive 60 miles per hour to get away from them. If a bear can keep up with us at 60, I am just gonna stop the car and roll down all the windows because that bear deserves a tasty treat.”

She gave me a dirty look and left shaking her head.

I can tell you right now, I am going to need to be heavily medicated for this trip.


Check out Bear Country USA!


  1. Grumpy says:

    As long as you’re in Estes Park take a drive into Rocky Mtn. Natl. Park just outside town.

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