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Tide Is High

05/11/2015 by C.

Laundry sucks.

Laundry sucks.


Shopping at Wal-mart is the biggest nightmare in the world for me. I will sometimes go to a smaller grocery store and pay higher prices just to avoid the hell on earth that is Wal-Mart. I have tried going there during off hours in order to avoid the lunatics, but then I just spend all my time trying to maneuver around the giant stacks of boxes they have parked right in front of something I really need. The later you go, the more of those re-stocking carts they have out, so that doesn’t even really pay.

Needless to say, when I enter a Wal-Mart, it is a race. How fast can I get everything on my list and get out? Sometimes mistakes are made because I go too fast trying to escape. One such mistake was made two months ago, but was just discovered yesterday.

When picking out laundry detergent, I usually go by price and then smell. I like my laundry to smell like it has been vacationing on the beaches of Aruba, but on a Branson Baldknobbers budget. In other words, I don’t spring for Tide.

So one night, while racing through Wal-Mart I found a really great deal on some Downey detergent and bought a very large jug. I live alone so I really don’t have too much laundry to do so this jug has lasted me for right around two months. I was in love with this detergent. My clothes have never smelled better and they were so soft. I had decided this would be the detergent I would use for life.

In the past few weeks, my mother has decided that due to my pneumonia, I have no business doing my own laundry. It doesn’t matter how much I protest, she throws a fit and says she is doing it and really, when she is like that it is just easier to let her do what she wants (plus I HATE doing laundry). Some nights I come home from work and not only is my laundry done but my dinner is waiting for me. Now, I totally understand why men are so into having a wife. I just flop in my recliner, feed my face, belch and watch HGTV (I am totally addicted to that Fixer Upper show).

The way the laundry service works is she comes over and washes my clothes in my washer with my detergent and then hauls them next door to her house to dry them because she says, “Your dryer sucks!”. Whatever.

So it was just this week that my Mom realized another one of my speed shopping mistakes.

“Chanin, you told me which bottle to use on your washer to wash your clothes and that is what I have been using.”

“Good deal, it smells sooooooooooooo good and my clothes are soooooooooooooo soft! Thanks!”

“Well, today I discovered why your clothes smell so good and are so soft.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You and I have been “washing” your clothes in Downey fabric softener. I think it might be time for you to slow down and actually start reading the labels on things when shopping.”

“Wait, are you sure????????????????”

I got up and quickly ran for the laundry room.


I have been walking around for two months in dirty clothes except for the very few clothes I take to my dry cleaners. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I am a disgusting idiot!

Moral of this story…It is worth paying the extra money at expensive grocery stores in order to avoid shopping at Wal-Mart so that you don’t walk around for months in dirty underwear. 


  1. misty says:

    Have you tried the Walmart neighborhood markets? Love them!
    you crack me up!

  2. Karen says:

    Buy Tide Pods.. they aren’t expensive, and they are measured out so you save money! They even have several scent or unscented so you can get those yummy smelling scent crystals!! 😉
    ~Crazy Karen

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