As if I needed anything to make me feel older and more rotten about myself…I injured myself yesterday getting off the toilet at work.
I know, you are probably thinking I slipped in some leakage or something.
Someone had taken my handicap stall and I was forced to use the petite ass/anorexic stall. So I am hunched over in the fetal position trying to relieve myself quickly and get the heck out of there. I was also keeping an eye out to identify the thief that had confiscated my stall (oh yes, I know who you are and you will be punished). The mean person left the bathroom and I went to stand up. A horrific pain shot up from the inside of my ankle up the back of my calf and resided behind my knee for the rest of the day and evening. I was limping. I was uncomfortable. I really should have gone home right away(so I could get a few things caught up on my DVR), but I am such a trooper I suffered silently at my desk. Well, mainly my silence was caused by pure embarrassment.
“Why are you walking around like that, Chanin?” someone would ask (probably the toilet stealer).
“Uh, I umm…oh, I am wearing new shoes and they have caused a giant bone spur to grow today on the bottom of this foot,” I would reply all red in the face.
Best just to keep quiet about this incident until time to blog about it.
The pain was worse sitting down at my desk. It was a horrible numbness right behind my knee. So numb it was almost unbearably uncomfortable and painful, if that makes any sense at all.
At home that evening, I popped a handful of Advil, got into my hyperbaric chamber and elevated my leg above my heart. I woke up this morning feeling dandy. No pain at all. So glad I bought that chamber at Terrell Owen’s garage sale last month.
I still don’t know what I did to myself, but I am just relieved it has stopped hurting. I will chalk it up to getting a year older and those damn new shoes.