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Trading TVs For Guns

07/25/2012 by C.

What a thing of beauty!



This is my TV. As you can see it is the size of a Toyota Prius. It took four men to get it into my house when I moved back to Missouri. I bought her (yes, my TV is a she and her name is Tara P. Telly) in 2004 from Best Buy and paid a fortune for it.

My living room is quite small and I felt it might be time to act like an adult and buy something called a couch. It is hard to seat six people on my two theater chairs. It was time to sell Tara.

So I put an ad on Facebook. No one responded (because most of my friends have seen this monster up close and have no desire to move it). I then listed it on Craigslist. I had a couple of guys respond and make appointments to see her, but they never showed up. But the other night was my best offer yet.


** Avoid: wiring money, cross-border deals, work-at-home
** Beware: cashier checks, money orders, escrow, shipping
** More Info:

Would you be interested in trading a gun for the TV


Would I be interested in trading a gun for my TV???? How did he know I am obsessed with weaponry right now? It is like he was reading my mind. I seriously had to consider this offer for a moment. If this man had said to trade her for a crossbow it would have been a done deal, people. Guns still make me a little nervous. So I replied.

“No thanks! Guns kill people. Got a crossbow???????????”

For some reason I never heard from him again.

My co-worker, Kori, has sold my TV for me (the reward for her hard work… she is now a huge internet star thanks to me mentioning her name…you’re welcome). The new owner will come pick her up next week. I must admit I am very sad about this. Tara and I have been through a bunch of things together…three Pittsburgh Steelers Super Bowl trips, Adam Lambert performing on American Idol, True Blood marathons and epic video game parties…just to name a few. She will be missed.

This will hopefully be her replacement:

What’s my name, bitches???


That is an 80 inch TV that will hang on the wall so I can still have a giant TV and a couch. Yep, I am damn smart.


So he/she needs a name. Let’s have a contest. You submit your name suggestions and I pick a winner. A prize you ask???

You are picking the name of my 2nd child. Isn’t that enough??



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  1. Grumpy says:

    80 inches? Are you kidding me? I am so freakin’ jealous. If the Steelers make the Super Bowl the party is at your house.

  2. Cindy says:

    Name her porna star

  3. Kim says:

    How about….you just use the 42 inch screen you have already in your other room???? Save money and buy a couch??? Just sayin!

    • Chanin says:

      I have a 32 inch in the bedroom and I would have to squint and wear bi-focals to see that after having a 65 inch in the living room. I can pick up a couch someone dumps along the road one of these days.

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